one of our patients that i had to call is a minor who lives in a group home. i remember his case manager coming in to schedule the appointment, since i was the one who set it up for her. so i called the number for the home that she left me. incompetence ensues.
Me: friendly neighborhood medical pion
My thoughts: self explanatory
GD1-3: group home ditzes 1-3
AC: almost has a clue
CMV: case manager's voicemail.
CCM: covering case manager.
GD1: *unintelligable fast speak* (can't really fault her for that since i'm guilty as well when i get busy).
Me: hello, this is Me from Dr. Ortho-Guy's office. is this "GroupHome"?
Me: oh good, i'm calling to confirm So-and-so's appointment with the doctor on monday.
GD1: umm, what did you say the doctor's name was?
Me: Dr. Ortho-Guy
GD1: i don't see him on the list. can you hold for a minute?
My thoughts: *list? what list?*
10 minutes later
My thoughts: *whistling while chasing butterflies*
GD1: umm, i'm gonna have to transfer you to someone else. we don't have that doctor on the list, but i can give you to someone who can help you.
My thoughts: *again with the list?*
GD2: GroupHome, this is GD2.
Me: hi, i'm calling from Dr. Ortho-Guy's office to confirm So-and-so's appointment for monday.
GD2: oh, i'm going to need to transfer you for that. hold on.
My thoughts: *oh this is going to be fun*
Me: umm, ok.
5 minutes later.
GD3: hmm, they transferred you to the wrong place. let me transfer you.
My thoughts: *skippedy doo!*
AC: GroupHome, this is Almost-has-a-Clue.
AC: ok. umm, i'm not seeing that doctor's name on the list. let me give you to So-and-so's case manager.
My thoughts: *what is this list of which you speak?*
CMV: hello, you've reached, Case Manager. i'm on vacation and will be out of the office until 8/14...
My thoughts: *ooh, crash and burn. i was really hopeful about this latest transfer too.*
CMV: ...blah, blah, blah. if you need to speak with someone about one of my clients, call Covering Case Manager at extension X...
My thoughts: *score! thank you vacationing Case Manager's voicemail.
Me: hi, can i have extension X, please.
CCM: GroupHome, this is CCM.
CCM: alright, that's one of CM's clients.
Me: yes, he has an appointment with Dr. Ortho-Guy on monday at 2pm.
CCM: ok, i'm not seeing that Dr. on the list, but i'll make sure that So-and-so gets to his appointment. where are you located?
CCM: great, he'll be there.
My thoughts: *OMFG, what's with this list???*
these people are taking care of our elderly loved ones and troubled youths. *facepalm*