Dresden Wolf (dresden_wolf) wrote in bad_service,
Dresden Wolf
dresden_wolf
bad_service

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Lengthy...




Near the end of May we placed an order for very specific parts for a commerical grade Chevrolet truck, including the make and model of the vehicle, dimensions, and an exact part number direct from your website. Your sales rep assured me that you had the product desired in stock and would ship it out to us immediately. Awesome. Cool. Should be end of transaction.

But oh ho! Not so!


Three days later we receive two large boxes from your company containing certain auto parts. However, they are NOT the auto parts we requested. Yes, the are the same style of what we needed, but they. were. for. a. different. vehicle. than. we. requested. But I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt and assume a simple mistake was made that you guys will more than willingly fix.

So I give your "customer service" department a call and explain the situation. Service was prompt but incorrect. As it was not our problem, I felt you guys should fit the bill for shipping costs to return it. I'm assured everything will go off fine and I will be sent return labels promptly. Three weeks later: No return labels.

I give your "customer service" department yet another call to check on the status. Apparently, for reasons beyond my knowledge, our account was not placed into your catagory for returns, so nothing has been done to get us return labels. Ok...fine. Further delay, I have an upset customer but I can deal with this. I request permission to use my OWN shipping account and ask for a credit to my account for the amount of shipping. I am told this will be fine, the added cost of the shipping will be credited along with the refund upon receipt of the returned items.

Awesome. Thanks. I'll get right on that.

June 16th, 2006: I print my own labels, slap them on the boxes, send them Signature Required via DHL and let that be it.

June 21st, 2006: Shippment Status: Received at Address by SomeRandomPerson at Thistimeofday.

June 30th, 2006: Return labels from Company arrive. :|

July 17th, 2006: Check my order status and credit balance. Still nothing related to the refund is apparent. Perplexed, I call the company "customer service" department again and the following insues...

Cast:

Me: Dude...I just want the refund. That shouldn't be too hard, eh?
CSR1: I can't help you in the slightest!
CSR2: I'll not listen to a word you say!
CSR3: What they said!!!111!!!!#$%@#$


CSR1: Thanks for calling we who suck ass, how can I help you?
Me: I need to check the status of a refund.
CSR1: Ok, can I have your order number?
Me: *gives it*
CSR1: We don't show any information on the tracking numbers provided for that order.
Me: I doubt you would. I returned them using my personal account after it took you guys a month to get me the return labels.
CSR1: That shouldn't have been allowed. We normally only accept returns via our own shipping account.
Me: Ok...then why did one of your co-workers tell me it was cool to use my own account?
CSR1: I'm not sure but at this point I'm going to have to send you elsewhere as this has been escalated beyond my control.
Me: Wait, wha-?

*totally jazzy hold music*

CSR2: Thanks for calling we who suck ass, I'm prepared to not listen to a word you say, other than that, how can I help you?
Me: *explains the situation again in full to this latest monkey*
CSR2: I'm sorry, our system shows no information on those tracking numbers.
Me: Of course not. I sent it under MY account as I was authorized to do by *this person* in your "customer service" department. I was told I would receive a refund and a credit back for the cost of the shipping. I also show that it was signed for at your company by *this other person* on June 21st, 2006.
CSR2: Oh well if thats the case, it takes us up to 2 weeks from the time we get the merchandice back to complete refunds.
Me: Sir...June 21st to July 17th is pushing the 4 week mark. I'd say we've gone slightly beyond your 2 week delay policy.
CSR2: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: *What the fuck?* But you received them on JUNE 21st. Its now JULY 17th. Friday will equal the 4 week mark.
CSR2: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: Are you hearing what I'm saying, sir? You keep telling me it takes two weeks and I'm telling you that it HAS been 2 weeks. It's nearly been 4 weeks.
CSR2: It takes us 2 wee-
Me: Yeah amigo. You've made that quite clear. It takes two weeks. Which to my knowledge of our current calender system, has come and gone. We are now in the home stretch of 4 weeks.
CSR2: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things.
Me: *Ok...apparently his Automatic Response record has a skip in it* Is there anyone else there I can talk to?
CSR2: It takes us 2...uh, I mean...sure! Just a moment!

*more jazzy hold music*

Me: *resisting urge to kill in the harshest of ways*
CSR3: Thanks for calling we who suck ass. You are mistaken in thinking I can help you, but I'm going to pretend it anyway. How can I help you?
Me: *explains the situation for the 3rd time. Including dates, names of past people spoken to, order number, MY tracking number, and the first 37 digits of Pi*
CSR3: Alrighty...I show that *this person* signed for your package on June 21st.
Me: Ok, at least someone can see it. Since we have in fact confirmed that your company received it and it takes "2 weeks" to process returns from that date...I should've already received it, correct?
CSR3: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: ..................................
CSR3: ..................................
Me: What date did you say you got the packages back?
CSR3: June 21st.
Me: What date is it now?
CSR3: July 17th.
Me: Basic math tells us that, given the length of a standard week, it has in fact been more than 2 weeks, correct?
CSR3: *doing the mental math...I can feel the strain through the phone* Yes sir. It's been over 3.
Me: Ok...so you see my complaint now, correct? You keep saying 2 weeks. The guy before you said 2 weeks. I am very well aware that it takes 2 weeks. I'm sure by now I will never forget that it takes 2 weeks for you guys to process returns. And now you just told me that it has in fact been more than 2 weeks and has in fact been slightly over 3. So whats the deal with my return?
CSR3: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: :|
CSR3: Sir?
Me: *making an attempt to process the complete Whatthefuckery I've just been slapped with* What IS the status of my return?
CSR3: We show it as received and is under review.
Me: The review that takes no more than 2 weeks.
CSR3: Thats right sir.
Me: And I've been under review for almost 4 weeks?
CSR3: It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: Just to clarify...it takes 2 weeks?
CSR3: Yes sir. Two weeks from when we receive the packages back for us to process everything and you get your refund immediately via the card provided.
Me: From the time you receive it until I get my money back is no longer than 2 weeks. Right?
CSR3: Yes sir.
Me: But we both know its been 3+ weeks.
CSR3: Yes sir. But it takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
Me: Bu you ju...ya know what. *smiles* Thats fine. Have an awesome day. Bye.

Bank/Credit Company has been contacted. Payback proceedings are now underway. Given the nature of the situation, the emails, transcripts of calls, and invoices I provided to the bank, the nice lady said everything would be taken care of by the end of business tomorrow.

But this will remain in my head for years, I fear.

It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.
It takes us 2 weeks to process these things. It hasn't been two weeks.

Kisses and lollipops!
~Me
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