I'm sure that by the end of this phone call I may have made customers_suck but jesus people. Cox Cable needs to go DOWN.
I moved this week. In San Diego if you live South of I-8 you are in Cox Country. North of I-8 you get Time Warner. I don't care what anyone else says. I love Time Warner. The only part where TW sucks is that they insist on doing (free!) home installation of services, which means that you just have to think ahead when ordering service. At my old place I had the DigiPic On Demand 4000 w/ Roadrunner package. $140 (post taxes) a month got me high speed internet, a DVR, HBO, Cinimax, Showtime, Starz, pretty much everything but the porn. All the On Demands I could ever want. Maybe it's overkill, but I never had to say "damn I don't get that channel".
$140 a month is getting me HBO and Starz, a DVR and internet. Whatever. It sucks but I can deal.
Monday: I call Cox and speak to Michael. Michael promises me everything under the sun.
Tuesday: They turn on my cable but the UPS man doesn't deliver the cable box and modem.
Wednesday: UPS comes through. Happy Happy Joy Joy. I hook everything up. As I have to go to work soon, I attempt to record Lost. Umm. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DVR?! It's just a regular cable box.
Thursday 8AM: I call Cox as soon as their phone lines open. Kelly promises to send out a DVR that day, it should be there soon..
Friday: DVR arrives. Yay. But it arrives as I'm on way out the door to the Padres/Mets game. So it sits in the box.
Saturday: Work in the AM, get home, hook up new cable box. It works. It doesn't allow me to get to HBO on Demand, which is annoying but I figured I'd call Tech Support another day when it really bugged me. Time Warner's On Demand used to freak out every now and then, simply requiring a reboot. Whatever. It allows me to program recordings. Because of my work schedule, I tape all the new episodes of pretty much any show I like. I'll end up watching them all in one huge day of couch potatoe-ness.
Sunday: Work goes into overtime and when I get home I fall asleep. I wake up at 9PM and watch Family Guy and American Dad. Then I decide to watch the episode of the Simpsons I'd recorded at 8 and the episode of the War at Home from 8:30. Immediately I notice that War at Home never even taped. W T F. The Simpsons said it taped, so I press play. It plays like 3 seconds of it, then stops. Then plays 3 more seconds. Then stops. W T F. I know it's too late to do anything, so I say fuck it, I'll call them in the morning.
And now the fun really begins
I wake up and try to turn on the TV to watch the news or whatever while I get dressed. NOTHING.
Knowing that electronics are tempermental, I go through my usual, turn on, turn off. Cable box reboots. Message on screen: Your Explorer is not authorized for use. Uh. OK. I unplugged everything and rehooked it all back up again. Nada.
I turn on the computer. Internet is fine, so my service hasn't been interrupted altogether.
I call Cox Tech Support and get Jerry.
I told him how it was totally not working, and I'm really frustrated because in the last week I have not yet had the services I wanted. I tell Jerry I want reimbursement. And lots of it. I started with one free month and got an extra week on top of my actual damages out of him. I'm somewhat mollified, but Jerry still hasn't given me my DVR back.
Jerry makes me unplug, plug in, reboot and unhook the cable box in a variety of patterns for 25 minutes. Nothing changes. I'm so glad I have a lot of minutes left on my cell phone.
Jerry tells me he needs to send a technician out. He then tells me that if the problem isn't the box I have to pay for it. I'm like, hell no. It's YOUR FAULT. I didn't rip the wires out of the wall. I didn't do shit other than ask for cable services. YOU HAVE FAILED, SO FIX IT NOW. He offers to put me on standby for today but I've got to get to work so he puts me in for 9AM tomorrow morning.
In a burst of intelligence I tell Jerry to hang on a second. I want to prove him wrong. Prove to him that it's the box's fault. I unplug the cable wires from the box and go straight from the wall into the TV. WELL HOLY SHIT. I HAVE BASIC CABLE NOW.
So Jerry, why didn't you even try to eliminate that as a problem? Did you miss that day in training or what? Jerry still won't promise me free services from the technician tomorrow so I ask for his supervisor.
"Hi this is Nancy".
Well, Nancy, why didn't you bother to teach Jerry how to check to see if the cable works at all? He didn't even ask me if my internet services were still working. Why am I smarter than your technicians?
What the hell is wrong with this company? First I get the wrong cable box. Then I get a defective cable box. Now they want me to pay to have them fix their problems?
And why can I not find their complaint line on their website? All I get is their generic Customer Support page. It's just plain old bad business.
And on a side note, is there any real logic to the goverment allowing these mini cable monopolies? Why can't I still be a Time Warner customer?