I realize part of this is my fault, but seriously. I accidentally misprinted my billing address so my bill got returned to the sender, causing my payment to be late. This in itself isn't a bad thing, but combine it with the fact that the bill was addressed to a name that has not been my legal name since 2004, not to mention the fact that my debit card from you has the RIGHT name on it...
So I'm trying to figure out how to pay this bill that is to somebody who is not exactly me, so I try signing online. Long story short, you have no clue who I am and your system can't figure out why my identifiers aren't lining up correctly. You suggest calling your 24-hour 800 number. I fish around the house for a phone and call a series of friendly-voiced robots that offer me absolutely no help.
I swear this thing is like a labyrinth. Enter your card number. Enter your zip code. Your options are now "find out your balance," and "commit seppuku right here and now." Nothing about talking to anybody. Nothing about not-being-able-to-sign-online. Kplzthx.
I don't care if it's crappy customer service. I paid an extra $15 to pay by phone because I figured this fiasco wouldn't resolve itself quickly. Just please let me know what the HELL I can do. And PLEASE never bring up my old name -- being a tranny isn't exactly easy work aside.