I suck. Remember yesterday, when I bitched to Turbotax for waiting until the very end of the tax return process to tell me, "BTW, you have to pay to e-file?"
Well, on the page you go to to start the process, under Turbotax, clear as mud are the requirements for e-filing. I didn't read them carefully enough, and therefore didn't note that I'd have to pay. Next time, I'll check things out more carefully before griping.
In any event, I used a different service, and my taxes were filed last night at 8:00. (Because my wife was at work, and I had nothing better to do than taxes on a Saturday night.)
Thanks for all your suggestions, and sorry for the false gripiness.