I'm just a big stupid idiot, obviously, because everyone should know that when presented with three shelves of identical cups, it's just logical to pick from the middle shelf. When I didn't do so I really did deserve to be snapped at.
My most unconscionable act, though, was not being able to pee into the cup the first time. This forced you into the herculean task of handing me a styrofoam cup and instructing me to drink from the fountain outside and try again when I really had to go. After all, you obviously had so many other people to deal with. Only, you know, not. I was the only one there. I'm sorry I can't urinate on command; I guess that's another thing Mom should have taught me.
Don't think I didn't hear you bitch to your officemate about how I left the door open. Oh, wait—you left it open and never told me to close it. I apologize; I guess my mindreading ability was off today.
I'm sorry you hate your job so much that you "didn't feel like dealing with patients today" and so ignored me when I was ready to try again. At least then I succeeded. I promise you, I was just as happy to get out of there as you were to see me go. You redefine the term "people person."