So I pulled out the phone book, and found the phone number for Verizon's repair service. I called them up, and got a computerized answering system. After I gave it my phone number, it informed me that there was a service outage in my area, and Verizon was committed to restoring my phone service . . . by 6pm Tuesday, January 3rd.
Yes, that's more than 4 days. In fact, it works out to 103 hours. Fortunately, my neighbors appear to have a cable modem, since their wireless internet still works. (If your wireless network is broadcasting its SSID, and your wireless network functions from my bedroom, I'm going to regard that as permission to use your wireless connection).