Earlier this year, I went to eat breakfast at my local Denny's. This was nothing uncommon for me, seeing as I went there nearly every weekend for coffee and some cheap food. Service was exceptionally horrible, but I exercised patience. The real problem was that the waitress was buddies with about half the restaurant. Every time she passed any table with someone she knew, she just had to have a chat. As I waited for my coffee, she paused at the table right next to mine (the tables were placed so close together, too) and started blabbing once again with the full pot of coffee in her hand. Slowly, her hand went limp and started spilling a steady stream of piping hot coffee onto my lap. I bit my lower lip and slammed my hand on the table to prevent myself from screaming in agony, whereupon she caught her error and got flustered...dropping the pot letting the remainder of its contents finish the job.
"Would you like a napkin or something for that?" were her words.
That was the last straw. I cursed quite loudly and got the attention of the patrons (though most had watched phase two of the spill) and the manager. I stood up and wiped the beverage from my lap (my pants had soaked up all that they could), then proceeded to bitch at the daft woman who was responsible.
MANAGER: Could you please calm down sir?
ME: Calm down?! This idiot just dropped a ****ing pot of coffee on my lap.
MANAGER: If you don't calm down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Utterly shocked at the restaurant's response to this event, I stormed out (just as my food arrived). The manager and waitress followed a bit behind as I made my way to the exit. As I walked out, I distinctly remember hearing them say something about me walking out without paying. I would have loved for them to call the police.
"Sir did you try to leave without paying?"
"They kicked me out!"
"Why did they kick you out?"
"Because they spilled coffee on me."