Years ago a friend and I went to a 24hr Chinese food restaurant at about 3AM. The place was deserted...we were the only customers. About five minutes after we got our food an old Asian man came up the isle with a huge old vacuum cleaner and he started vacuuming right by where we were eating.
We asked him to wait until we were done but he didn't even acknowledge our presence (I don't care if he didn't speak English...he completely ignored us and refused to even make eye contact).
The last proverbial straw was when he started vacuuming UNDER our table hitting our shins with the vacuum cleaner (still not making eye contact or acknowledging our presence).
My friend started speaking "fake" Chinese to him and asking if he was saying anything.
Example: "Hoong fa to chi wha? Cha fa ti my foh ma loh. Wha tee na feng shi? Hey, HEY! Did I say anything? I know I didn't say a sentence but did I get a word right? Did I get a letter right? Come on, one of those must have been a word. Did I get a word right?"
It was a little embarrassing but the guy took off after a minute never to be seen again and we got to finish our meal in peace.