aggravatedDear cold caller lady,
You rang me. You asked for someone who hasn't lived here for at least five years, and won't be returning because she was convicted of criminal charges and imprisoned. We don't know her - never met her. We bought the house from the people who lived here after her.
So when I tell you this, what the fuck possessed you, person who is trying to sell something, to interrupt me with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... As if I were boring you, in a completely childish manner. You, madam, are an utter toad. I do not regret hanging up the phone on you mid sales pitch, at all.
No love at all,
Me.
Dear other asshole at the same company,
This is how not to conduct a phone sale:
*ring ring*
Mother: Hello?
Him: Can I speak with Mrs Parkinson, please?
Mother: Nobody lives here by that name. Please don't call again. Goodbye.
*hangs up*
Ten seconds later:
*ring ring*
Mother: Hallo?
Him: I would like to offer you the same deal as Mrs Parkinson -
Mother: No, thank you. Do not call again. Bye.
*hangs up*
Ten seconds later:
Him: I'm offering you a good deal here, listen to me, [insert rest of sales pitch]
Mother: *hangs up phone*
Cut that shit out,
Mother of me.
*Also, I don't know who this company is and I need to try to block them, because they keep calling. There's been several people phoning but they all speak with 'Indian' accents (IDK how to describe it but it's the only common link between them) but they are utter assholes. They call back as soon as you hang up, they use different numbers so as soon as you block one, they use another, and they only ever want to speak to someone who's not been here for five years.