gaiman_phile (gaiman_phile) wrote in bad_service,
gaiman_phile
gaiman_phile
bad_service

bellefior's bedside manners post reminded me of a similar situation I had back in 2005.

I've always had a bit of trouble with my reproductive organs. In 2005, I was having them so bad, I'd actually collapsed a couple times at home, once in the shower.

I didn't know what was going on, so my (then) boyfriend rushed me to the hospital and they chalked it up to something to do with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), gave me a prescription for some heavy-duty meds and sent me home. Alright, fine. I figured it was just going to be a really awful period - I'd had them before, but nothing this bad - and dealt with it as best I could.

This went on for several months. I'd seen a few different doctors to find out what the hell was going on, and one doc wanted to test me for gall bladder issues, since they'd ruled out ectopic pregnancy or possible miscarriage (I'd been through natural childbirth once and this pain, I honestly can tell you, was far worse than labour), or possible issues with my appendix. Each test came up fine. So, I was crossing my fingers that it was the gall bladder, because then it would be SOMETHING to explain this issue. It wasn't my gall bladder, either. I later found out that I was having issues with endometriosis. MUCH later (we're talking about 2010 timeframe when I found out). At the time, however, it was still the big question mark in my life, and it got bigger and more painful when my periods hit.

Eventually, the boyfriend and I split (his Mom was always on us to have a baby, and I just wasn't sure if I could have another kid, and I wanted her son and I to get to know each other MUCH better BEFORE we brought kids into the mix) and I moved out of state to start over again. I came back to Ohio (I'm not from here, but I lived here for quite a few years) and decided to start my life completely over. For some reason, my heart decided it included getting back together with the ex-husband. IDEK.

Anyway!

Because of all the pain I was in, I missed a very close friend's wedding. :( A mutual friend of mine and ex-husband's suggested I go get another opinion at the university hospital. Claimed they were really good, yadda, yadda, yadda. I went. Ex-husband went with me. The doctor was a guy (I don't like male doctors working on the female bits of my body, they don't understand the concept of BE GENTLE!). Alright, fine, whatever, let's just get this overwith.

He decided he wanted to do a pelvic exam - and by now I'd had so many, I was convinced my vagina was permanently open - and it was excruciating. I cried through the whole thing because he wasn't very patient. Jerk. He takes ONE LOOK at my cervix, JUST ONE LOOK, and says, and I quote, "Oh! It's just cervical cancer! No big deal!" WHAT. THE. FUCK. NO BIG DEAL?! He then pulls the speculum out, pats me on the shoulder and wishes me a nice day and leaves the room so I can get dressed and he was going to send the discharge nurse in with a prescription for some Ibuprophen and did I need a work excuse? No? Ok, have a nice day, then!

I just sat there on the exam table feeling like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. I just stared at a wall and kept muttering, "That did not just fuckin' happen." Ex-husband said that wasn't right for him to do that, and we'd go to a better hospital and get a proper exam done. I fell apart. We BOTH did. Just sat there and cried for several minutes. I was just barely 30 years old at the time, had JUST gotten things sorted with him out where we were back together again and we were planning all this great stuff we were going to do, and I get slammed in the face with this?! NO.

Within days, we had went to another hospital and they did a more thorough exam. I asked them if we'd advanced so far in science that biopsies aren't needed anymore to diagnose cancer. The doctor gave me a weird look and said no. Biopsies are really the most effective way to properly make such a diagnosis. Then she asked me why I asked her such a thing. Ex-husband ended up having to be the one to explain because once again, I was a mess. The very idea of the big "C" in my life just scared the hell out of me. It's still difficult to talk about even now.

The doctor nodded and said ok, she'd take a look and if she felt there was a necessity for a biopsy to be done, then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. She did the exam and told me that she didn't see any reason for a biopsy to be done. I had a friable cervix. Means I bled VERY easily. So, during my periods, did I have issues with heavy flow? Yes. She said it's because my cervix is hyper sensitive. GREAT.

Looking back on everything, 8 years later, I can honestly say that I wish I would've pursued some sort of action against the wanker doctor at the university hospital. I don't even know why I didn't, I probably would've owned him for the rest of his pathetic life, but I just let it go.

I'm happy to say that EVERY pap I've ever been through SINCE then has come up normal - no cancer. No pre-cancer. I finally had a proper diagnosis in 2010, it was endometriosis that was making me so miserable. I had surgery - an exploratory laparoscopy - to remove it. They weren't able to remove two spots because it would've been very dangerous to do so (one spot was on my colon and one was on major veins that feeds the ovaries), so they just kept a hawk's eye on me. It let up for a few months, and then came back 10-fold. God, Almighty, I'd rather go through natural childbirth again than go through that pain! NO! I made an appointment with my gyno and it was agreed that it's time to do a hysterectomy. Finally. Doc removed my uterus and cervix, but I still have my ovaries in 2011. I've never been happier with my body.

I just really feel stupid that I didn't go after that stupid doctor at the university, though. +kicks self+
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