HYPERFocused (hyperfocused) wrote in bad_service,
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The "Perks" of Being a Comcrap Customer

So yesterday I get a snail-mailed invitation to Xfinity Insider, which is apparently their loyalty program for customers with a certain level of bundled services. (For the record, I have TV, with HBO; Internet; and phone). I go to the website to check it out, but get a message telling me I must have high speed internet to access it. I already do have high speed internet through them. Then I'm linked to the regular comcast page, which, yes, only has me listed as having TV and Voice.

My next step is to go to their "chat with a rep" section, which turns out to be a major reason for this post. Chat's posted below. (Comments in parentheses are my reactions/responses after learning how the rep screwed up.) Hello Karen, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Vernie. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Karen > My Issue: I received mailing about Xfinity Insider. Tried to access it, but system says I don't have high speed internet. I do, through Comcast/Xfinity.
Vernie >() Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/Corporate/Customers/CustomerGuarantee.html
Vernie > As your service representative today, I want you to know that your satisfaction is of my top-most priority. I assure you that we can either resolve this issue together on this chat or provide you steps to take on how to resolve it. (/ Thanks
Vernie > It's my pleasure to assist you and paint a smile on your face, Karen. (I'm wrong. Now it's truly sickening b_s B.S. I may Barf Soon.))
Karen > Right now, I'm at a : i. Hopefully that'll improve
Vernie > Alright. Can I please have 2-3 minutes of your time while I'm still pulling up the account?
Karen > of course
Vernie > Thank you! I appreciate your patience on this matter.
Vernie > Let me also inform you that you can view your current bill, account balance, pay bills, view services, setup automatic payments, or even go GREEN with our Comcast EcoBill? While waiting, you may take a look at it online by checking out http://customer.comcast.com
Vernie > Thank you for patiently waiting, Karen. I will now check on your account for us to resolve your issue. Please stay online.
Vernie > XFINITY Insider is a customer loyalty program that provides an array of benefits for high-value customers. These benefits include: · First and exclusive access to new products & services · Unique discounts on Comcast products & services · Great experiential benefits from programmers
Vernie > Since this is a loyalty program benefit, I need to refer you to our Loyalty Department. Please call the number 1800-934-6489. (Note, this is just the 1-800-Xfinity number everyone calls. Not something that connects me to their loyalty program. I do not catch onto this until later, when I look at the phone's keypad. There is no way this was unintentional. In fact, there isn't even an option to choose that mentions Xfinity Insider. More on this later.)
Vernie > Everything is good to go. I truly appreciate your understanding and cooperation. We thank you for your time in contacting us. May I know if I was able to resolve your issue and do you have other billing concerns for me today? I will be glad to assist you further. (That would be a big fat "No, you have not helped me.")
Karen > I will do that, but I still need to have my services accurately listed.
Vernie > Karen, can you please help me understand your last statement?
Karen > I was invited to Insider. I currently have tv with hbo and streampix, voice, and internet all through xfinity. However, when I tried to sign in today it doesn't list me having high speed internet
Vernie > Let me check on that for you.
Karen > thanks:)
Vernie > Thank you! I appreciate your patience on this matter.
Vernie > Karen, you're currently under a triple play deal so you may take advantage of Xfinity Insider.
Vernie > All you need to dial the number.
Karen > Is there a reason it will not let me access it online?
Vernie > The reason why it's because this offer is only for our Loyalty Dept.
Karen > That makes no sense. I was invited to the loyalty program. The letter says go to xfinityinsider.com. I did this, and was told I don't have internet, which obviously I do.
Vernie > You certainly have internet service, Karen. Please call the number and your issue will be resolved.
Karen > I'll do that. I'm just annoyed that it is apparently necessary.
(I was annoyed to have to call the special loyalty number. I ended up irate finding out there's no such thing.)
Vernie > Alright, Karen. Before we end this chat, I have resolve your issue by providing you the surest resolution to your concern. I have also placed notes here on your account for reference on what we have done today. Please take note that there's no additional steps needed from here on. (Blatant lie. When I did call, there was no record on my account of the chat, or my issues. And hell, having to call in the first place, after the chat, certainly entails another step.)
Karen > I hope you're right. Thank you for your time. (I am way too polite to crappy CS reps. It's not like he was volunteering.)
Vernie > If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or E-Mail (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at www.Comcast.net to help you solve many issues on your own. Please click on exit chat to participate in our survey. We’re here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to answer questions at your convenience.
Vernie > Comcast values you and appreciates your business! Have a good one! (If he means have a "good two hours of annoyance and hold-time not getting this resolved, then we're golden.)

I did as suggested, and called the number given to me. I go through menus until I get to one that sounds like it might be helpful. I'm on hold for 30ish minutes. The first phone rep doesn't know how to help, so she sends it up to her supervisor. Another 10 minutes pass on hold until he comes on the line. He is thankfully marginally more competent. He signs on to my account and sees the issue. Unfortunately he doesn't know how to fix it, and in fact claims never to have come across it before, but says he is escalating it to their IT dept, and I should give them 24 hours to fix it.
By this time, I've wasted about 3 hours on what was supposed to be a reward for being a valued customer, but has turned into an epic fuck-up. So I ask the rep what he can do for me for my troubles. He says, "well, I could give you a premium channel, but you probably have them all." I don't, actually, so he gives me 3 months of Showtime. I'm happy to get that, but it sure isn't the perk I thought I'd be getting.

Cut to today, and the same problem still happens. I spend more time on Google, and find postings from people with the exact same issue going back to 2011. I'm still digging to find an actual solution, but I'm even more irked that it's not even a new problem.

ETA: The problem was still there up through last night, so after 24 hours had passed I tried the chat again (to see if maybe it could be fixed without being on hold forever). This time, the rep just asked for my email info, did some minor tweaking, and had it fixed in minutes. On the one hand, I would have preferred not to have wasted so much time on this. On the other, after reading the info I'd been looking for in the first place, the 3 months of Showtime definitely beats any perks of the program.

The final kicker? Today, a Com(post) rep from India, I think, called to ask about the service ticket on file for me. It mistakenly said that I couldn't access my account, nothing about the actual problem.

Son of ETA: I'd posted a similar, less detailed complaint on my LJ, yesterday. I just got a response from comcastcares5 with info on how to contact them. So, yeah, I guess the social media thing does work.
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