For the last few weeks, I've been getting calls on my cell from an "unavailable" phone number every morning between 9:00am and 10:00am. I haven't been answering because, hey, if it's important they'll leave a message, right? But I was feeling cranky, so when my phone started vibrating yet again I reached over and picked it up.
It was a call from the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, and they were asking for a donation of something like $150 because it is "so very important" to get those Democrats in control of Congress.
Me: Are you kidding me?
Democrat: We realize that it's a lot, but it is so important-
Me: Yeah. I'm broke.
He then begins to whine about how we have to get those Republicans unseated or else this country will be ruined. I have to cut him off-
Me: Look, I registered as an independent because I don't care about this stuff. Can you please remove me from your phone list?
The caller continues with his script, ignoring me, reminding me once again that it is so important to get more Democrats into Congress, so if I'll just donate $75 then it'll help so much-
Me: Yeah. Did you not hear the part where I said I'm broke?
Caller: Well, we also have a matching foundation that will triple your donation. So if you donate $33, it'll be practically $100.00-
Me: SERIOUSLY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING? I HAVE NO FUCKING MONEY.
Caller: But it's so important-
Me: These are the only two important things I care about: one, that you remove me from your phone list, and two, STOP CALLING ME!!
Caller: How about I send you something in the mail-
Me: I don't want to hear from you. I'm going to hang up. If you call me again, I'll vote Republican just because they have enough sense not to bother me!
And then I hang up.
A couple of hours later, while I was in class, I noticed that an "unavailable" phone number was calling my phone. AGAIN. I couldn't answer, but I'm 99.9% certain it was the same stupid organization.
The next day, I get another call from the DCCC. This guy is even worse. I'm on the train, so I can't hear everything he says, but each time I say, "Please take me off your phone list!" it sounds like he's saying I have to contact the FCC because they can legally call me. WTF? He proceeds to tell me that we HAVE TO SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS INTO OFFICE BECAUSE THE EVIL REPUBLICANS WILL TAKE WOMENS' RIGHTS AWAY OH NOES THE EVIL MUST BE STOPPED!!! After asking him three or four times to take me off the phone list and being told he can't/won't do it, I say some dirty words and hang up on him.
Does this work, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee? Does being this obnoxiously aggressive and tone-deaf get you more donations? Because I'm not kidding. If I have money to donate to your cause, I'll find you. Otherwise, I don't want to hear a peep out of your group. I am thoroughly convinced that all politicians suck balls at this point, so I really don't care who I vote into Congress. (Usually, I just go with third party candidates.) Besides, the representatives and senators in my area are so strongly entrenched that I doubt any campaign will unseat them, so I might as well vote Republican just to spite you.