Me: Could I have the [elaborately named menu item], please.
Counter Guy 1: *starts to prep item*
Counter Guy 2 [edited to add: speaking to me, not to Counter Guy 1]: No.
Counter Guy 2: No.
Me: *assumes they're out of some ingredient, steps back to look at overhead menu again*
Counter Guy 2: You have to smile first.
Me: *stands there like an idiot for several seconds* Uh, no, I'll go somewhere else, sorry to bother you. *leaves*