A friend of mine who Knows About These Things told me to do the Spin Test. It spun be-au-ti-fully!
So, I looked up my nearest Verizon store, and, just in case, a couple of larger sales centers. I was expecting to spend $39.95+ tax on a new battery, OK, fine.
There were no other customers and two sales people, who both walked toward me. One of them won, asking "Yeah?"
I was already a little put off, I'd been expecting more than a syllable, but Isaid "I need to replace this battery," as I pulled it out of the phone.
"Oh, we don't sell BATTERIES!" she said.
"Oh, where can--"
"NO Verizon store sells BATTERIES," I wish I could convey her tone, as if I were insane, as if I had asked if they sold something completely unlikely to be found in a phone store, such as doughnuts. Doughnuts with poop frosting.
"OK," I said, putting my phone and battery back in my purse, "I'll order one online, thank you."
"We can probably do an upgrade, how long have you had the phone?"
"Almost two years, but I'm hap--"
"Oh, it's totally time to upgrade! And everyone has smart phones now!" (Um, I'm someone, and I don't.) Besides, batteries are so expensive, it's really not worth it to replace them when you could get a whole new phone for a little more. Well, maybe not a little, whatever.. And that one's old. Besides, I'm sure the battery's not the problem."
Because she's psychic? I took the battery back out and spun it on the counter, explaining what I'd learned.
"No, if the, the stuff has expanded you can totally see it. She held up the battery to show that it looked flat to the naked eye. "Your phone probably just broke down, you NEED to upgrade."
So, what I learned from her that Verizon's battery prices are usorious (I agree), Verizon sells sucky phones that "just break down" in less than two years, and that it's stupid not to replace something the second I can.
I went home and found a certified LG dealer selling batteries for $13.95, free shipping. It shipped that night.
There was a relatively minor Post Office suck. Usually, packages take a couple days, sometimes next day, to ship from Southern California to my home in Northern California. But I tracked the package, and it sat for two days in Anaheim, and even though it was "out for delivery" (ie, had made it to my local post office and gone out in a carrier's rounds) three days after I ordered, it did not get delivered on Saturday, so I had to wait until Tuesday the 3rd. Maybe my new battery figured it might as well go to Disneyland while it was in Anaheim, and it was so tired from that trip that it decided to rest at the local PO for the long weekend.
But it did come. I put the battery in the phone and charged that baby. It took a good long charge, complete with letting me get in and check my texts. Then, to what would have been my shock if I'd believed the irritating sales minion, worked perfectly.
My inner child wants to go back to the store and chant "I-I was ri-ight! You-ou were wro-ong!"