Battle of the Wits, Round 1
Okay, let me set up the scenario for you. Where I work, there is a cafeteria. This cafeteria serves shit covered in batter and calls it 'Fish of the Day'... they also claim that 8 chips in a noodle box the size of my fist is worth $2.50. In other words, this is a fucked-up hell-hole run by mole-fisting intellectually handicapped scumbags. Now at this cafeteria there was a competition running - you basically have a chance to win a mars bar or a coke when you buy a coke. Not bad, right?
So after 4 weeks and no luck whatsoever, I finally win a free mars bar - a 'buy one - get one free' deal. I decided that I'd buy myself a mars bar and give the free one to my mentor, a funny, smelly (more on that later, no doubt) guy by the name of Brett. So I head down to the cafeteria, grab two mars bars and explain the situation slowly.
I'm quickly told that the competition ended yesterday, even though she gave me the ticket today. I replied 'okay, no worries - I'll just grab the two mars bars anyway'. The lady, being nice and genial, said something to the effect of 'well I did give you the ticket today, so we might honour it' at which point she calls over 'The Manager'.
The Manager, after thinking ever so hard about it for a minute, decides that it's fine - just give me a free mars bar. I thought 'sweet!' and started rummaging for the coin to pay for the other bar.
'Uhh No...' started the Manager. 'I said you can have a free bar, but we can't honour the card's deal.'
'Thats okay, I want two bars anyway, I'll just pay for this one.'
'I said you can't do that - I'll give you the free bar, but I can't let you buy one and get one free; the deal has ended.'
'Well, I'll take that one free. Thankyou. Now, I'll buy this mars bar as well!'
'No, you can't do that! We can see what you're doing, we're not that stupid...'
As I have been told, how can you wage a battle of the wits when your opponent is unarmed?
Yes, you ARE that stupid. It's really wasn't that sucky, but more WTF ARE YOU ON IDIOT?! *sigh*