Shannon (brokensynapse) wrote in bad_service,

Unplanned parenthood.

I haven't visited LJ land in a while, but I had an interesting B_S the other day, so I had to share. In the meantime, I forgot how to cut entries....but I will try.
I am pretty sure you will catch where this is going rather quickly. I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get Implanon inserted for birth control purposes. It requires local anesthesia and a trained provider to insert it in the arm so it's not the type of thing where you can just go in and out (although most visits at PP aren't from what I've heard...) So after the MA takes my blood pressure and weight she gives me a cup with my name labelled on it  to pee in. I stupidly asked, "Just curious -- why are you giving me a cup?" I mainly asked this because I work as a lab technician and she didn't instruct me to do a clean catch. Then it dawned on me while she said "Um, we need to make sure you're not pregnant when we insert the Implanon."

OK, duh. I pee in the cup and put it in the window which oddly has another urine cup it in.

I go back into the room and she instructs me on the procedure and tells me she is going to run the urine test and then the Practitioner will come in and talk to me a bit more and get started. The MA is very friendly, I will add and so far things are moving pretty fast so I am happy.

About 5-10 minutes later the practitioner comes in and looks pleasant while she introduces herself. Then she cautiously adds," Well I am going to give you a different sort of speech than what you were prepared for". OMG WAT. I knew what was going to come out of her mouth. She said, "the urine test was positive." I took the news somehow rather calmly (read: I was in shock) but I insisted that it be retested as I had just finished my period. If THAT was spotting then I had spotted exactly 28 days previously for about 5 days as well.  Sheesh. Apparently from the look on my face, she even wanted to retest the urine again. So, she asked that I just give another urine sample (they don't do serum pregnancies there).... but false positives are very rare, anyway. I manage to give another sample and put that one in the same window while she went around to the lab area to test it. In the window I see my other urine sample still sitting there.

That was a bit of an alarm bell to say the least. The urine pregnancy tests take about 3 minutes to run, so after that agonizing 3 minutes the Practitioner comes in and says "Don't worry, it's negative.. they ran another patient's test and documented it in your file/chart and never ran your urine test." I could tell she was annoyed (and mortified herself) at the MA since she had to give the news and then the not-news. She also explained that they had another patient with the same first name and last initial.  At this point, I was just extremely relieved and not very angry. The MA came in and apologized profusely since she saw me slink into the bathroom the second time and knew something was up. I told her it was "OK" and that things got resolved quickly enough so no, I am not "mad at her".  Her asking me that was a bit of WTFery though.

The procedure went through OK with minimal pain and the Practitioner was very professional and apologized again before I left. Also before I left I heard the MA explain what happened to the office manager or someone else and she said, " I am glad she was so understanding about it and didn't curse me out. She seemed like it'd be OK if it was positive since they were only using condoms (?). I am not sure if I heard the last part of that right, but she seemed to think I'd just shrug off the news of being pregnant. Weird since I am there to get an implant that ensures no pregnancy for 3 years! Her bringing up the fact I used condoms didn't really make sense to me at all in the context of her explaining her mistake. Honestly though, I was sort of amused by the whole situation afterwards and just glad I didn't immediately call my boyfriend to unleash a holy torrent. Considering I work in the healthcare field though, it also made me extremely sadddened by the lack of professionalism when dealing with patient identification. It takes very little time to check names and ID numbers when giving out results and running lab tests. It takes a whole lot more effort to revive a person who has a heart attack from learning she's pregnant when she's there because she obviously doesn't want to be for many years.

TLDR; Planned parenthood briefly causes one girl to think she's caused an unplanned parenthood because they can't read name labels in their entirety.
Tags: bedside manners, commenters morally obligated to disagree
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