Kelly (me): 16 years old, only at the show to keep Keaton company.
Keaton: 16 years old, Big Star Wars fan, orders the Jumbo Diet Coke.
Usher: Accusing asshole.
*Half-way through the show*
Keaton: *Whispers* Hey, Kelly, Will you hold my drink, please? I need to go to the little boy's room.
Me: Sure. *Takes his drink and sips from it*
Keaton: *sneaks out quickly and quietly, comes back two minutes later*
Kelly and Keaton: *Enjoy the rest of the movie*
*After the show*
Usher: Hey! You! *points at Keaton*
Keaton: I, sir?
Usher: Yeah! Go clean up your mess in the bathroom!
Keaton: Erm...what did I do?
Usher: *hands him a mop and pulls him along to the men's room*
Me: *follows them and stands in the doorway*
Usher: *opens up a toilet block and a big stink emits from it.
Keaton: *turns around, covers mouth, gagging*
Me: *runs in and holds Keaton, who is facing the other way from the toilet, coughing*
What was there...was disgusting...looks like someone shit out their intestines. Shit was all over the seat, floor and even some was smeared on the wall. Keaton has a very weak stomach and I got him out of there before he lost his lunch all over the back of my shirt.
Me: *still holding Keaton, who feels sick* He didn't do that!
Usher: I saw him come out of the movie half way!
Me: Yeah, he had to have a quick whizz, not shit out his organs!
Usher: He was the only person to leave Screen 3 during the show.
Me: Did you check to see if people left the Theatres 1 or 2?
Me: I want to see your manager right now.
Keaton and I got a month's worth of free movie passes...but I still feel horrible for Keaton for seeing such a mess. He was really sick that evening cause he couldn't get the pictures out of his head.