Suntrust, you haven't been my main account since I moved away from your area of contamination, but your debit card still places online orders for me frequently enough. You don't mind triple digit orders from Amazon or Sephora, and you said not a word when some asshat did hijack the account to send $1000 worth of crap to fucking Indonesia, leaving me to find out only when I eventually got my statement. So to get a call from your fraud department now would probably give me a coronary.
Luckily, you eased me into it. By calling nine times today, the first call at 7:30 in the fucking ante meridian when I'd worked until midnight and been up studying until 3. And by doing so with a malfunctioning dialer so that no matter how many times I said hello, no one ever came on the line to talk to me. I found out who it was using Google.
This would be ridiculous even if there was fraud going on. But the only pending charge I see online right now (the only charge at all this past five days or so) is $15 for Netflix, a charge that's been coming through each month for as long as I've had the account. If I find out that your spidey sense is reacting to a $15 charge you could set your clock by after you blithely ignored four digits to a foreign country, then this will be your new logo.