I'm pregnant with my third child and I go to a local clinic for my prenatal visits instead of a dedicated doctor because I love the office staff, nurses, and every doctor but one. That's where I take my son and daughter for their checkups, and it's the first time I've found doctors I trust after a history of apathetic or incompetent physicians. But now I'm really considering not going there anymore. The problem is one doctor because for my last three visits I've been seen by her and I never want to again.
Sidenote? I'm 24 now and married. I do look younger than my age and a recent haircut makes this even more apparent. I also got pregnant quite soon after having my daughter (her 1st birthday is July 4th, this baby is due June 11th), and I was cared for at this same clinic during my last pregnancy, so this doctor saw me then. All the nurses and other doctors from there I've seen were surprised when I got pregnant so soon and chatted with me and then continued on, without judgment. Her? Not so much.
She saw me at my 6 week postpartum checkup and, like she'd done the whole time I was pregnant last time, pressed me about getting an IUD. When was I getting one? Where? Basically her entire attitude was "what can we do to make sure you don't have another baby?", something I am directly quoting her on. So the first time she saw me with this pregnancy she expressed confusion, "what happened to the IUD?" and so on. I explained a few times why I didn't get one immediately, and then the conversation moved to "well what are you going to do after this baby to be sure you're done?" and, like every appointment, she asked several times how old I am, over and over.
I've probably been seen by this woman more than ten times now and she never fully reads my chart or asks me how I'm doing, at all. Every appointment starts with her asking how old I am and what birth control I'll use after the baby. I told her that well, after this pregnancy my husband will be getting a vasectomy, so no worries after that. She asked why he didn't go out and get it done right now, and I told her the same thing that the different doctors had told us when we called to inquire about getting it done- they wanted to wait until after I delivered just in case something went wrong with the baby. "Oh, but you already have two! No, if this was your first or second maybe they'd say that, but you already have two healthy babies. He can go get it done right now! You should schedule an appointment after you leave here!". The nurse whose opinion I asked on my way out agreed with waiting, saying that some places even make you wait until a few months just because of SIDS risks and asked "what jerk told you that?"
The last straw was my last visit. The first thing that came out of that woman's mouth when she saw me was "Are you finally going to get your tubes tied after this baby?". Excuse me? Really? She didn't bother telling me when my pee-in-the-cup test revealed that I had a UTI (I got some pills at my next appointment 3 weeks later by a nurse who saw her notes and asked why I hadn't taken my pills, since I still had a UTI), she never asks how I'm feeling or if there are any problems, and treats me like I'm some single teen mom working on conceiving an army of kids. My last appointment she actually chatted with me about something other than BC and asked, "what does your boyfriend do?" Um, hi, I mentioned my husband was getting a vasectomy not two minutes ago when you were harping about BC. We're still married.
She also is incredibly rough with things and doesn't explain what she's doing. When I saw her for my first exam once I knew I was pregnant she tried pushing around my stomach to see if she could tell how far along I was but it didn't tell her much- I'd just had a baby and my muscles hadn't had time to bounce back. So she kept going on and on about how she was trying to find out but my stomach is "soooo soft and not ready for this", and "I really shouldn't be pregnant this soon, I can't tell anything from your stomach at all! it's soooo loose!" and making it sound like it was the worst thing in the world. Then she checked me with her hand from inside and literally crammed it in as far as possible- I felt the bones of her hand grinding on my pubic bone. I told her it hurt and she ignored me and pressed harder :/
I have an appointment Wednesday and I plan on going in early to file a complaint and see if there is anyway they can make sure I don't see that doctor again. If not, I'll just have to go somewhere else. I can't take her judgmental shit anymore. Am I just being whiny? I don't feel like I am but I don't want to complain about her and have them brush me off.. I don't know. The rest of the staff is so awesome, if I hadn't gotten her for 3 appointments in a row I probably wouldn't care that much but I can't take it anymore. Every other doctor makes me feel great when I'm there, asks me how I'm doing and explains what's going on with my baby and reminds me what to expect and treats me great. When I leave after an appointment with her I'm angry, irritated, and feel like shit.
EDIT: dude, you guys are all such sweethearts. I am DEFINITELY going to complain on Wednesday and make sure they schedule me on a day she isn't in, or leave. I really appreciate all the kind sentiments, you guys are great.
EDIT 2: I didn't see her for my appointment Wednesday but I filed a complaint and talked to a nurse for a little while filling out the form. When she said that shit, what she said. She agreed that it was all completely uncool, especially forgetting to give me UTI meds or even mentioning I had one. From now on I'm scheduled for a different day of the week when she will not be there, and if she's filling in for someone, it's in my notes to change my appointment rather than see her. Hurray!