How About I Break Your Toes?

So, I'm a klutz. A horrible, trips over the air on a flat surface klutz.

Normally I just run into walls, tables, etc. But on Saturday, I decided to be very dumb and I fell down about 10 stairs. (Future reference: Fuzzy socks and slippery old creaky stairs don't mix!) Upon landing, I discovered that I couldn't move my right foot, it was incredibly swollen, and hurt. A lot. For the rest of the day I crankily sat around on the couch with a bag of ice on my foot while Boyfriend played DnD with some friends who were over for that specific reason. One of those friends told us it would be a fantastic idea for me to soak my foot in hot water with Epsom salt, so I did and yay it did make it feel better for a little bit, only then it would get worse so I was in an endless cycle of foot soaking.

The next day, it was still swollen, still hurting, so Boyfriend and I decided to go to the hospital to get it looked at. Numerous sucks by numerous hospital employees followed.

1) I was slowly hopping from the car where Boyfriend parked in front of the ER doors, when a security guard came running over and told us we couldn't leave the car there. Boyfriend said he was helping me get inside and would then park, but seeing as how I couldn't walk he really wanted to stay with me until I could sit. Security guard said that wasn't allowed and that the car had to be moved now, so Boyfriend had to go park while I made my way inside by myself. I asked Security Guard if he could go get me a wheelchair, and he said that no, it wasn't his job.

2) Registration Lady, yes I know that my name is pretty and spelled uniquely and all that. And normally, I love talking about my name and the awesome stories that went into it. But signing in a patient in the ER when they are obviously in pain and obviously can't walk and are having a hard time standing on one foot (still hadn't gotten that wheelchair yet!) is not a good time to talk about names. Getting angry when said patient asks if the registration process could be hurried isn't very nice either.

3) You know those rolly cart things they have in hospital ER rooms? Yeah, I got incredibly acquainted with one when the nurse pushed into into my bad foot. Hard. I don't know what she was thinking, but holy flying goats that hurt. She then got angry with me when I cursed. Um, sorry lady. Next time you mutilate my poor broken foot, I'll start singing happy Broadway musicals, 'kay?

4) I had Boyfriend with me. He and I joke around, insult each other, poke and prod and generally act like 4rd graders who like each other. But Doctor, no, he didn't push me down the stairs, and NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT AND HE DID NOT TRY TO KILL THE NONEXISTENT BABY.

5) X-ray person, it's a good thing that I'm NOT pregnant because you didn't put the heavy drapey thingy over me until half the x-rays were done, and then told me not to tell your boss that you forgot to ask if I was pregnant at the start.

6) After finding out that I hadn't broken my foot as expected, but three toes instead, it was incredibly kind of you nurse, to tell me that I should stop making such a big deal about how much pain I was in. Wow. Awesome bedside manner there.

7) Also, while fitting me for the moon boot thing so I could somewhat walk, giving me the correct size is important. Since my toes are broken, I don't want a shoe that's too small that my toes are hanging out the end of it. That kind of negates the purpose of trying to protect my broken toes, isn't it?

Ugh. It was a pretty crappy hospital visit, and while I realize that broken toes may not be the most important thing in the world, they hurt! The service was overall just crappy and I don't think it was just because I was in pain.