At first, everything was dandy. I was vulnerable and open to anything. First off, she gave me this "test" to see whether or not I had any other cognitive disorders besides the drug addiction. When she was reading the results in front of me, she was making all these faces, you know like, "WOAH THIS BITCH IS CRAZY WHAT THE HELL AM I DEALING WITH" kinda faces and "UH OH THIS IS BAAAADD" kind of faces, which totally annoyed me and worried me. Then she goes on to tell me everything that was "wrong with me" (in quotations because I feel a major bit of that was bullshit) which made me cry hysterically. I was pretty upset after this visit because I didnt agree completely with her verdict.
Eventually, I had to get over it because I had to see her anyway and my parents were paying between 300 and 400 dollars a week, our excellent insurance didnt cover her services, and I was feeling extra guilty about that. I wanted to try as hard as I could to be perceptive of treatment so I could make my parents proud and become a better human being.
the therapist and I eventually got along extremely well. I was opening up more at the sessions and at the time I felt like I was making progress. She, at many occasions, told me that I was her "most special patient" and that I was her "favorite". Red flag. Like I said, I was vulnerable and at the time this was a huge compliment for me as I didnt have any friends and my boyfriend at the time was a huge dbag, and my parents didnt understand what I was going through like she did. She made me feel like she was the only person on my side, and I feel now that she was slowly becoming more and more manipulative.
After about 4 months I was seeing her four times a week and when I wasnt there, we would be texting about the days events. This is about the point when HER problems started making there way into our discussions. (my parents were PAYING this lady to help me, not the other way around) She was having huge marital problems, and she had a five year old daughter in the mix. I began consoling her at my sessions because her husband wanted a divorce but she didnt want to tell her daughter, blah blah blah he was sleeping on the couch and he was a regular pot smoker, blah blah blah.
A few times she had me come in for free (my parents didnt have to pay) to help her organize her office and files and clean up, she told my parents this would be good for my sobriety? She was extremely unorganized and could never get my parents their invoices on time and it was starting to bother them. Now, i realize how many unprofessional things she was doing. it got worse.
Remember, I was there for drug addiction therapy. For opiate addiction. She began NODDING OUT in sessions. She had back problems and was taking strong pain meds, such as oxy, and she would openly discuss it with me! Now how do you think this made me feel, her nodding out and talking about her pills. I would have terrible cravings. She eventually told me she brought her pills to work with her, and told me that a client got mad at her for nodding out in their session and she was completely baffled. I eventually ended up stealing some of her pills. I would have never relapsed if it werent for her, and I havent since. I definitely accept most of the blame but she was still unprofessional none the less.
Once, she took me out to lunch. She didnt pay for our meal. She told me it wasnt a big deal and that we were leaving. I was seriously appalled. I had been seeing her for about 7 months at this point and I was starting to stand up on two feet again and I started realizing just how wrong she was.
The sessions got worse and worse and worse. We were no longer discussing my problems whatsoever. She would break down and cry every session because "I was her only friend and the only person who understands her". ugh.
One day my parents asked me if I was still getting anything out of our sessions. I told them the truth. When I was no longer seeing her, I started to feel so much better. I realized there were other resources out there to help me and that I could do this without her. I feel bad now looking back and realizing how much I was manipulated and how she took advantage of my parents money. Today I am happily sober and have started a new life for myself. No thanks to her!
Long story short, shitty psychotherapist manipulates and drags me into her own world of craziness.