I had been seeing a therapist for a while through my college's clinic. After a few sessions, we started to discuss drug treatment, and I told her I was going to investigate on my own and see what I think will work the best. After doing about a months worth of research, I decided to try Prozac, so I make an appointment with a doctor at the clinic. I already had discussed this with my therapist and I got the full go ahead.
I arrive at my appointment, and my doctor was almost a half hour late to it because she was getting lunch. Okay, whatever, I had the rest of the day off from classes anyway, so I'm good to go. I go in and talk to her about my depression, how I've had it since at least 5th grade (probably sooner, but I didnt really know how to identify it before then), and how it comes and goes and waves, and it's been getting steadily worse in the past year or two. I also tell her about my history of self harming, which I hadnt done in at least 4 years, and about how I was raped 5 months prior to the visit, and how I thought all that added up to the fact that I thought I should finally try drug therapy, and here's what I was interested. We talk for a while and finally she says "well, just by talking to you, I dont think you seem very depressed, so I'm not going to prescribe anything to you". I was like O_o?? and asked if she would at least talk to my therapist before she made the decision. She said she didnt need to, she had talked to me, wished me well and left.
Now, of course, Im livid that she refused to do anything. Even just a chat with my therapist and saying something like "oh hai, Im talking to creativexangst about this, what do you think?" would've sufficed. I even offered to sign something giving them permission to talk. I mean, they work in the same building after all. The next day I called and asked to speak to her superior, told her the whole entire story, and her response to it was "Well, you know, if your prescribed something and you dont actually need it, she could lose her job". I'm like "what if she refuses to prescribe something to me when I do actually need it? I dont care if she chooses that I dont need this drug, but I'd like her to at least talk to my therapist and get her input on it". After all, I had been seeing this women for several months at this point.
My favorite part of this story? Two weeks later, things were getting even worse, and I ended up over dosing. If I had wanted to kill myself, I would've succeeded, but I knew I didnt want to, and asked someone to call for help. When I got to the psych ward after I was recovered enough, I talked to a psychologist there for 5 minutes before he told me I should be on something for my depression and wondered why I didnt seek help sooner. *face palm*
Because the teal deers got loose in my story: Go to a doctor seeking help for depression, get turned away because "just by talking to you, you dont seem very depressed", and doctor refuses to talk to therapist. A few weeks later it comes out that I really should've been put on drugs a while ago.
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