Tseecka (tseecka) wrote in bad_service,
Tseecka
tseecka
bad_service

Support Group Fail

Not really a "service-oriented" area, but still a horrid experience.

I have temper issues. Things tend to get me very riled up; I tend to bottle them up; and then when I finally let it out, bad things happen. I've been this way for awhile. Nothing mental; just a great deal of stress.

I spoke to a couple of people about it, and got a great recommendation for a "support group" of sorts. Not like AA or anything--basically, it's a group of people who meet twice a week to discuss issues and get things off of our chests. You pair off and spend some time talking about things in the last few days that have upset you; it gives you the chance to blow off some steam verbally. Everyone gets really pissed off during sessions, naturally, but you help each other work through it and basically just act as a sounding board. Vent until you can vent no more.

No one is judged for the things that make you angry; if you really can't work with someone, you switch up partners. It is a fantastic system--basically, a group of friends who don't mind your bitchin' and who you can bitch about your real friends, coworkers, etc to. It sounded like a great idea. I've noticed in the past that having someone to rant to who isn't involved in my life is pretty cathartic. It helps me deal with the day to day a bit better.

Turns out, the group I joined? Absolutely no support whatsoever. Rather than act the way they're supposed to, which is to vindicate you and allow you to vent your rage through (seemingly) righteous anger, half the people in the group seem like they're there just to pick you apart. I go to these people for help, and they tell me my problems and my issues, the sources of my anger, are insignificant and meaningless.

Half the people I've worked with up to this point have completely ignored my need--the need we all share, I might add--to get the anger out of my system. Instead, they judge me for what it is that makes me angry. I often am told I have "no right to be angry about these things" or that I'm "the one who's really at fault". 

I'm not the only one that this happens to, either. There are a few other people who have only been in the group a little longer than I have, and I notice them getting the same treatment from the same people during sessions. And unfortunately, we're supposed to switch up partners every meeting so that no one gets tired of hearing the same bullshit over and over again. So we always seem to end up sitting opposite someone who seems to have absolutely no idea that this is a SUPPORT group. A place to help each other out. 

I haven't been back in the last couple of weeks. Honestly, at this point the idea of going to group seems to make me more angry than all the things I'm bottling up inside that group is supposed to help me with. 

TL;DR: Support group is unsupportive, undermining, and counter to purpose. 

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