My child was born healthy and fine. I started taking her in for her check-ups, measurements, vaccinations, what have you. Here's a rundown:
Me, two weeks after birth: Doc, I'm having problems breastfeeding. She just won't latch and when she does, she falls asleep after about two minutes.
Doc: Just keep trying.
Me, at her three-month checkup: Doc, shouldn't she be holding her head up a bit?
Doc: She will by next visit.
Me: She hates being on her belly.
Doc: Some babies do, keep trying. Are you still breastfeeding, btw?
Me: No, formula. We never did get that down.
Me, at her six-month checkup: Doc, she doesn't hold her head up very often or for very long. She won't put any weight on her legs either.
Doc: She's holding her head fine. She's just not ready to put weight on her legs yet.
Her father, at her nine-month visit: Doc, she's still not putting any weight on her legs.
Doc: Well, some babies are just a little...how should I put it?
Father: You're saying she's lazy?
Doc: Pretty much!
Me, at her one-year visit: Doc, she's STILL not putting any weight on her legs.
Doc: WHAT?! She should've been starting that around six months or so! We need to draw some blood, she might have muscular dystrophy.
WTF?!
My daughter was fine, just needed some physical therapy. However, she had textbook signs of hypotonia, or low muscle tone. WebMD could've caught it better. Plus if she would've had MD, wouldn't it have been more advantageous to have it caught and started treatment when she was younger?!
For some reason, me, an idiot, keeps taking her to this doctor, until she's about two and a half. At that visit, I tell the doctor that our family pet, a cat my child loves, will have to be put down soon because she has cancer.
Me: How do I deal with that, given her age and all?
Doc: She won't even notice the cat's gone.
Me (looking at this woman like she's on crack): Um, yes, she will. She loves the cat.
Doc: In two weeks, she'll forget she even had the cat.
Me: Um, no, she won't. She really, really adores the cat. Her first word was "kitty" and she used it to refer to anything that she loved.
Doc (giving me a condescending grin and speaking to me in a voice like I am the two-year-old): Look, I've seen plenty of kids her age and I know that within two weeks, she'll forget all about that cat. So don't worry about it, OK?
That's when I switched pediatric practices.
Oh, and my daughter is now six, walks fine but is still physically weak in things like swimming...and still tells me, from time to time, how much she misses that cat.