At Kroger, picking up one of those massive 50lb bags of dog food for my hungry mutts, when I notice a DVD (Memoirs of a Geisha, by the by has been wedged under the bag of food. Being naive, I'm thinking someone accidentally left it there, but when I reach down and grab it I realize the box has been slashed and the actual DVD is missing. I decide to bring it to the front because I figure someone, loss prevention people, would want it, and also -- if I was on camera -- it looks rather shishty for me to bend down, pick up a DVD box, open it, and then stash it back.
So I take it to the cashier. Keep in mind this box is clearly slashed open, plastic wrapping in tatters. Script format now
Me: "I found this under the dog food."
Cashier: "Do you want to buy it?"
M: "No . . . I found it."
C: "Ok, so you don't wish to buy it?"
M: "No, the DVD is missing."
C: "Do you want me to find you one with the DVD?"
M: "No, I don't want it. The DVD was taken out."
C: "I'm sorry, but you can't return it if the DVD is missing."
M: "I'm not returning it! I found it in the store and someone stole the DVD from it. I'm giving it to you."
C: "So you don't want to buy it?"
M: "No . . . here's my plus card."