Missy Sedai (missysedai) wrote in bad_service,
Missy Sedai

Cashiering Basics, 101

Dear teenaged Kroger cashier,

I realize you think you're too good to be working for a mere $8.50 an hour, ringing out groceries for people like me, who just want to get their goddamned groceries and go home, but don't you think you should at least pretend to be doing your job?

No, I don't particularly care that you, your bagger, and the silly bagger bint in the next lane are all "bestest buds" and spent the previous night drinking and carousing. No, I really don't care that one of your friends was so drunk, she smacked face-first into a patio door. No, I don't care that her boyfriend was making out with someone else, and I don't care that if he was your boyfriend, you'd kick his ass to the curb.

Let me repeat, just in case you didn't understand that: I don't give a flying fuck.

When I come through your line with a bag of cat food, some vegetables for soup, a loaf of artisan bread and some soda, what I want to hear out of you is:

-- Hi! (Or hello, or how are you, or is it still snowing...some greeting, acknowledging my presence would be good.)
-- Do you have any large items on the bottom of your cart?
-- Do you have your Plus Card/any coupons?
-- Your total is...
-- Thanks! Have a good night!

If you're a cashier who sees me regularly, you may certainly ask after kids/cats/dog/work if you like, or otherwise engage me in a bit of small talk while you ring out my half dozen items. I like friendly cashiers.

DO NOT, however, completely ignore me while you rattle on OVER MY HEAD at the bint in the next lane about how drunk y'all were last night, and for fuck's sweet sake, get my order rung out in under 5 minutes. It's six goddamned items, how long should this take? No wonder your line moved so damned slow! I made sure to ask your manager if this was SOP.

The only reason I got in your line to begin with was that the UScan line was all the way down the seasonal aisle. I hope all three of your stupid asses get fired and replaced with UScan terminals - those at least don't inflict idiotic teenager-speak on customers just trying to pay for their groceries and go home, and I can ring out six items in about a minute.

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