I knew our relationship wouldn't last when I found out that in order to transfer money from my account, to another National City account, you would need to mail me a check through the post. I would then need to go into a branch office to deposit that check. This became too much to bear when I was hassled for the third time about depositing said check.
I was amused more than angry when a branch manager gave me the 1-800 number for a phone sex line for information on closing a certificate of deposit. It's a great story and it eventually got sorted out.
I was less amused a few weeks later when I went into the branch to close out the rest, and was told, "Our computers are down city-wide. We can't issue you a check." A bank doesn't have a redundant data center? F'real?! (The branch is close to my home, I went in three times. They were down all day.)
I was outright angry when I went in two days later and was told you still couldn't issue me a check. This time it was because the account was closed. With my money still in it. Fortunately, the hilarity of realizing you credited my $100 cash back for rewards in 25 individual $4 deposits was enough to temper that.
So please, be an actual, functional bank just one more time for me, and debit the $20 in gas I bought three days ago. I want this to be over with even more than you want to be rid of me.
No love what-so-ever,