I was home all day yesterday. No delivery attempt was made. There was no notice left.
So I try to arrange re-delivery on their website. Except I need information from the slip they didn't leave to do that. So to the phone tree I go.
Call #1: After navigating the automated system, I speak to a rep. I explain the situation, and she asks if I'd like to schedule a re-delivery or pick it up. It's a beautiful Saturday, and I have nothing to do, and they didn't even try to deliver it the first time, so I say I'll pick it up. She says I should go to "my local post office".
Problem: I live in New York City. There are local post offices all 'round these parts. I would like to know which one specifically has my package, please. I am transferred to a not very helpful woman. I re-explain my situation, say that I am hoping to pick up, and would like to know where. She sighs and sasses that she needs more information, as though I am instructing her to read my mind. I'm not. I am willing to give you all the information, lady, but I don't know what information you want. I do get her to tell me what she needs to know to look up "my local post office", somehow, and she comes up with 909 3rd Ave Suite #400. Then she thanks me for calling and hangs up before I can ask anything. I google the address, and there's not much info besides that, yes, it's a post office. It's not particularly close to me (but not as far as other post offices I have had to go to to pick up stuff from before). I decide to call USPS back just to make sure.
Call #2: I have my chat with the robot. It argues with me this time, and I have to hang up and call back and start over. I eventually get a real person, explain all of the above, am apologized to, and then am transferred to a more helpful woman. She also comes up with the 909 address, but is much nicer about it and gives me the post office's hours of operation and phone number, so I can call and find out what I need to bring to pick up this package. I appreciate this because, for example, if I need the notice I was never given, there's no point in going.
I call the 909 3rd Ave Post Office. They are none too happy to answer the phone. I explain that I am trying to pick up a package. I am transferred mid-word. A man answers. I explain I am trying to pick up a package. "A package?" He asks. He sounds confused. As if he has never heard the word package before. I explain the whole story. "879 4401" he replies. And that's all he replies. "Excuse me?" I ask. "879 4401, that's where you go to pick up your package." "Is that a phone number I should call?" I ask, because I live in a reality where phone numbers and physical addresses are two different things. It is! And I eventually pry the area code out of him.
I call 212 879 4401. It's busy. I google 212 879 4401. It's the number for the New York Public Library. Thanks, douche-bag. I'm sure they have my package.
Call #3 to USPS: Shut up, robot. This time I tell the rep I just need re-delivery, because no one wants me to pick up anything. Transfer! To a woman who says the first two words of every sentence normally, then fades out into mumbling and also can't remember that I never got a notice, even though I tell her several times throughout the call. I do eventually get her to re-schedule delivery for Monday, and give me a confirmation #.
Let's see if it shows up.