When I pulled up ( I was the only car there), the attendant was standing outside smoking and talking on her cellphone (are you even supposed to smoke on the forecourt?). She gave me a fed-up look, put out her cig and went inside ready to serve me.
I pumped my petrol and went in. Attendant was still on her phone, chatting away. Yes, I'll be round about eight or so was there anything else you needed today, madam? no, I wasn't talking to you, Mum, I was talking to a customer, go on Mum...
She then proceeded to ask if I was on pump 2 with 32.12 UKpounds' worth of petrol, even though I was the only car on the forecourt and the only person in the store. I confirmed that I was (no shit, Sherlock) no sorry, Mum, I wasn't asking you about the petrol, I was talking to someone else, go on....
I use my debit card (cashier talking on phone throughout), and for some reason I haven't yet determined, a message comes up asking for the cashier to call for authorisation (this is weird, as I definitely have funds in my account (I checked at an ATM 2 hours after the transaction.) Best guess is one of the little darlings I teach looked at my card and called it in stolen)
OK, this happens, it's not her fault. She says NOTHING about it to me, but tells the cellphone 'Mum, it's telling me to call (phone no.) and tell them (this code number) and they'll tell me what to do next! What should I do???!!!???!!! No, I've tried that, I don't know if it's gone through or not, what should I do? The conversation continues round in circles like this for at least 2 minutes. The cashier has so far at NO POINT actaully spoken to me about the problem, only to the wonderful cellphone of +3 to Problem Solving.
At this point, I try to adopt as polite a voice as I can and ask her: 'Excuse me, do you think you could finish your phone call and call the card company for authorisation, as I'm in a hurry?'
She responds by asking
Now script form:
Me: I really can't wait that long, couldn't you call the company for authorisation?
Her: I don't know how!
Me: But you just read out the instructions from your screen to your Mum. You said they said to call (number) and quote (code) and they'd take if from there....Could you try that?
Her: BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!eleventyone!!!!!!!!!
Me: (careful to stay polite): Could you not just try calling the number you were given?
Her: (puts on utter nasty sarcastic voice) Maybe you'd like to come round here behind the counter and do my job, since you obviously think you know better than me!
Here I was tempted to reply either
a) Sure, I couldn't be worse at it than you or
b) No, because you are being paid to do this job, and I'm not.
But instead I just took out 32.12 UKpounds in cash, handed them to her, and walked out, before I lost it and said something that would have made me a very sucky customer indeed.
I wish I were making this up, I really do.