July 22nd, 2014

How. . . .how is it funny I don't know?! How is it funny I don't have custody?!

So, I have a 14 year old daughter whom I don't have custody of. I have not seen her since she was 4, have not spoken to her since she was 10. She lives with her father, my ex-fiance'. Has since she was 4 months old. this is why.

Recently, I got approved for disability. I know that they'd want to garnish my funds for my daughter, for child support, and that's fine by me, b/c she's being taken care of. That's all I could ask for.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail about my daughter, trying to get benefits for her. Uh . . .. You'd have to take that up with her Dad, whom she's been living with for the past 14 years. I don't know much about her. I don't know her SSN. Her Dad and I do not get along, we have not spoken in 3 years, since he tried to start a bunch of drama for his own amusement. He's known for doing that, him and that wife of his (he got married a few years ago, but he's been with his wife since our daughter was 10 months old).

I called the # on the letter to explain the situation to them. They kept pressing me for her information, which as I said multiple times throughout the phone call, I do not have. They said, "Do you not have custody of her?" Well, if I don't know much about her and I'm constantly telling you to contact her father, obviously I don't have custody of her. Just sayin'.

That call ended and I didn't think anything about it after that. Till today. I get a call from a Cincinnati # wanting to talk to me about my daughter. The guy did the preliminary questions, the bullshit ones about, "We need to make sure we're talking to the right person, what's the last four of your social, your Mom's maiden name, etc." When they get to the part about what my father's full name is, I give it to the guy and he goes, "His name is Jerry, you said?" No. Larry. I spoke up so he could hear me and he copped an attitude with me. The hell!? Just because you're having "difficulty" hearing me (and I've got a loud voice, anyway, so I don't know how he could've misunderstood me), does not mean I am having "attitude issues" and "need to calm down," I am speaking up so you can hear me. Just sayin'.

So, we get past that, and he goes, "What's your daughter's name?" I tell him and spell it out for him. "J-E-S-S-Y-K-A." HE hears, "K-E-S-S-I-K-A." Can't find her in the system. I ask if he spelled her name right, after I'd corrected him - twice - and he again tells me to "calm down" or else he's going to end the call and I can go to the local office and sort this bullshit out.


YOU are the one making the errors, I'M the one correcting you in a PROFESSIONAL voice, and YOU tell ME I need to calm down?! No.

He starts pressing me for information about her social. Which I do not have. I have not had custody of her since she was a tiny infant, so I do not know anything about her. That is, again, something you are going to have to take up with her father. I'd lost track of how many times I had to tell him to talk to her father. He looks her up after finally listening to me about her name and how it's spelled, and finds her. He then goes, "Do you not have custody of her?" And when I tell him for the umpteenth time no, I do not, he LAUGHS.

I do not see how this is funny!?

He AGAIN tells me I need to "calm down" or else he's going to hang up. I tell him I don't appreciate him laughing that I don't have custody of my child. I do not think that is professional at all.

He then says, "Is she receiving benefits already?" Again, I DO NOT KNOW. AGAIN, YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER FATHER. He says, "It looks like she is . . . .Oh, so you don't have custody of her?" No. Once again.

"Well, I guess we're done here. I'll contact her father." WHICH SHOULD'VE BEEN DONE AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS CALL! UGH!

So, thanks, random idiot stranger, for making me feel like absolute shit for not knowing anything about my daughter. Thanks for making me feel like the WORST parent ever by LAUGHING IN MY FACE.

I was so pissed by this point - but calm - I just hung up with him, didn't demand to speak to his superior. I should've, but one more second on that call, and I'd have said things to make his parents regret ever having a child.

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