May 1st, 2011


Next time I get sick I'll just die, kthx.

Dear Sacred Heart: *

The following are ways not to deal with patient belongings in the ER. Unless you want to make people miserable, in which case follow these steps exactly!

1: Leave the bag they're in unlabeled
2: Store it under a desk somewhere instead of with other belongings bags
3: Claim that the patient didn't have any belongings when she came in
4: When it is pointed out that the belongings in question are clothes and the patient did not come in naked, and when the misplaced bag is finally found, insist that said clothes are filthy and unwearable because the patient vomited on them repeatedly
5: When patient claims not to have vomited on her clothes at all, actually, claim that said clothes aren't actually hers after all
6: Misplace patient's underwear, too, just for funsies.

In summary: Leave patient's clothes in an unmarked bag in the ER for three days and then wonder why they smell like puke. And then steal her panties after spilling pee on them.

Dear nurses:

Thanks so much for spilling impressive quantities of urine all over me. The fact that it was my own did not make the situation any less OMG WHY AM I COVERED IN PEE.

Also, thank you so much for refusing to give me clean socks afterwards. ;___; Grossssss.

* yeah, yeah, I know, I should go to McKenzie-Willamette instead, but seeing as I can't really afford either I'm stuck with the one that's helping out with the bills. D: