Dear delivery person with FedEx or UPS,
I live in an apartment on the second floor over a couple businesses down on the first. There is no front desk. It doesn't exist. That means you can't drop off a package at the front desk. It doesn't freaking EXIST!
That's a business down there? That has nothing to do with me. That means delivering the package to THEM doesn't cut it. Luckily, the owner of the boutique beneath me is real cool and just holds it in the back until I can run down during her business hours. On the occasions when the owner takes the delivery, she tries calling my cell to let me know they did it again. We've got things worked out so that deliveries can be made and she is totally awesome. You? Not so much.
But seriously? UPS, FedEx guys? When it's a signature confirmed delivery, the signature is SUPPOSED to be from the person the package is FOR. Yes, I know that can be impractical at times, so I'm not going to get too upset if, say, my roommate or a family member signs for something for me when I'm not there. But random person who isn't even AT the residence it's being delivered to? Does that make any sense to you? Because it sure doesn't to me, and it's quite fun to pull up the tracker and see a signature that means NOTHING to me because I don't know who the person IS. And yes, I am going to call and raise hell with the local office about that because A) I need to know who actually GOT my package, and B) that's BS.
Also, my town might not be high crime, but you know, when I'm expecting a package, I'd like to actually get it. That means you can't SIGN FOR IT YOURSELF and leave it on the front step of my BUILDING. I live on "historic main street" here in town and that means a crapload of tourists comes through on a regular basis. What else does it mean? Things get lifted from doorways and are never seen again. Hell, just last summer a dummy dressed like a police officer from the 60s was stolen out of a restored 60s cop car during a car show with TONS of people around AND NO ONE SAW ANYTHING. Don't go thinking that the fact that it's kinda busy means things won't get stolen. Here, that INCREASES the likelihood.
Yes, when that happens, you are going to be held responsible for replacing the stolen items and refunding the delivery money. Why? Because it's YOUR fault, directly, that it was stolen due to your not being capable of doing your job properly. If it says signature required, that means YOU GET A SIGNATURE FROM THE PERSON ITS BEING DELIVERED TO! You don't leave things on the front step of an APARTMENT BUILDING and sign for it yourself! You don't randomly deliver a package to people it's not intended for! And you DO do your job properly! I know it's annoying, but really, it's not that hard!
Your company charges A LOT more than the post office for the same service, and yet often, delivery-wise, provides BETTER service. And that's saying something. I get that you can't leave a note saying "Hey! Your package is here, but you weren't! We tried! Now please come get it!" like they can, but can't you at least TRY?
This happened about a year or so ago.
I was waiting in line at KFC to buy some lunch. I started feeling a little dizzy but the line was very long and I didn't want to lose my place so I kept waiting. I waited until I was next to be served but just as it was my turn the dizziness took over and I fainted fowards onto the counter.
I came to a few seconds later to find that the teenage boy serving me had moved the line sideways around my unconsciously-slumped body and was serving the customer after me as though I was an inconveniently placed 'wet floor' sign. No one batted an eyelid.
I regained consciousness, stumbled to a nearby chair, and five minutes later re-joined the end of the line.
EDIT: Goddamnit I hate it when people edit their post to justify their actions! Oh well, to clear up speculation (though you guys do love to speculate) the only reason I gave these guys money for food was because the reason I passed out was from lack of food. Consequently the first thing in my head was 'must get food now'! Besides, after coming out of a faint you're not really thinking 'omg hate rage!!!1!eleventy! They didn't notice me!!', I was really only focused on how fucking scary it is to faint in a public place.
PS: Yes this did really happen. I don't make up things for the dubious glory of an awesome bad_service story!