Dear man-in-front-of-me in the Co-op
Please don't look at my shopping (four items) and say "I would let you go in front of me but I have more things than you." It makes no sense, it was a pointless thing to say. Don't start talking to the cashier about how you were going to be a gentleman and let me in front of you because a) you weren't b) she doesn't care either way and c) it makes you look like an even bigger twat than you already looked, because it's tantamount to saying "I am totally ungallant, because I recognised what I think is the gentlemanly thing to do and then did the opposite". [I didn't care either way whether he let me ahead of him or not. I was in no hurry and didn't mind how long he took. If he'd said nothing at all I'd probably not even have noticed him.]
Please don't say "I had better be quick, there's all these people in the queue behind me" [all two of us]
and then a) ask for a price check on four items which turned out to be exactly as they had rung up, not as you had fantasised b) when the supervisor comes back from that ask her to fetch you some more milk from out the back [this man had emptied the (tiny) fridge of single pints of milk, leaving only 2-pint and 4-pint bottles. He had to have had 12 pints or more in his trolley already]
and c) empty out your pocketful of coins onto the counter and sort through them slowly. You had a ten pound note in your pocket, we all saw it. You'd have got your change back in about 3 seconds, instead of taking over a minute to give her what wasn't even the exact change after all.
Dear Co-op cashier
I am sorry that the man-in-front-of-me was an arse. Please don't take it out on me. Please don't yell at the next-lane-along cashier about how she must (on pain of death?) go on her break so that the poor girl gets up to go and then yell at her to come back because there's another customer approaching. Please don't call her an imbecile, you yelled at her to go in the first place and I gather it was not your responsibility to do so. I have four items, the woman behind me has two. It won't hurt the new customer to stand in this queue. You made your fellow cashier look stupid, and quite clearly upset her in the way you shouted at her. And while you were doing this you could have been ringing my stuff up, or helping me with the stupid carrier bags. But no, it makes so
much more sense to watch me fumbling with them and then ring all my stuff through at once and move it around from the order I put it on the belt so that the 2L bottle falls on top of the yoghurt when you let go of it. Cheers. And when I asked you to actually take my money instead of looking away and yelling at the other cashier again, there was no call to stick your finger deep into my loaf of bread. I got it exchanged and I told the duty manager about your attitude to the other girl and to me. I'm sorry I had to do that but your lousy day was not my fault.
x-posted to customers_suck