chipperWhy do you always throw my purchases onto the counter? Is it to soften them? Is it to ripen those bananas? Do you just particularly hate tomatoes?
Truth be told, I don’t really like my purchases being slung around, even if they are only fruit and vegetables. I tried smiling at you; engaging you in conversation; helping pack the bag. But each time, you scowl at me and fling. My plan of action now is to grab my purchases mid-hurl. Haha! Thwarted!
I began to think you hated me for being a foreigner, which was pretty upsetting, but I’m happy to report that this afternoon, you demonstrated your egalitarian qualities by practising your flinging on a feisty Catalan lady who promptly screamed at you and asked what the hell you were doing. Well, now I know that speaking out against your tyranny is pretty unwise.
Granted, summoning your elderly mother from the back of the store to throw her out was a little extreme. And she probably isn’t the child of a lady of the night, but that’s okay. I understand. Your scowl and fling wasn’t so bad this time, for now I know that I have company.
Yours,
La Inglesa