paisley80 (paisley80) wrote in bad_service,

Silly barista.

My favorite locally owned coffee shop opened a location near my house.  I've gotten to know the owners and most of the employees, and I'd learned to just keep on drivin' if I saw a particular car parked in the employee parking.  Haven't seen it in a while.

One barista (Blondie) literally got my order wrong every time I went there.  Last summer, I ordered a decaf iced soy latte, which just blew her mind.  By the time I got to soy, she had glazed over and malfunctioned and was just looking at me crooked.  "Nonfat soy latte?" she repeated.  "Oh, no," I said, "Decaf iced soy latte."  "Okay."

She wrote, very neatly, "D-I-S-L" on the cup.  What did she reach for first?  The regular coffee beans.  "Can you make that decaf?"  "Ohhhhhhh yeeaahhh."  What'd she reach for second?  Regular milk.  "Oh, can I get soy instead?"  "Oh yeah, sorry!" 

A minute later, I wasn't paying attention and I heard her steaming the soy milk.  When she handed me my very hot decaf soy latte, I reminded her that I had wanted it iced.  She looked at the drink in her hand and said "Is this okay instead?"  No, sorry... it's 100 degrees outside.  "Well, here, you can have this one, and I'll make you another one."  She didn't write on that cup and it came out fine.  *boggle*  But hey, I got a free drink out of it.  When I got home, I popped it in the fridge and poured it over ice the next day.

Another time, she was rustling through the lost and found drawer and picked up one of the shop's loyalty cards that someone had left behind as I was walking up.  The name written on it rhymed... Mary Berry for example.  She started giggling and staying the name over and over again, each time with an increasing tone of stupidity, until at the end she was just going "Maarrryyyy Beeerrrrrryyyyyy hahahaha."  I got my medium decaf and high tailed it out of there before she exploded. 

The last time we saw her, we made the mistake of asking her for a recommendation on a good dark roast whole bean.  My husband adores fresh dark roasted coffee, and likes getting the recommendations of whoever's on duty when he goes to buy it.  He said "Can you recommend a good dark roast coffee bean?"  She said "We're out of dark roast, would you like a medium roast instead?"  He looked at the wall of jars full of whole beans and said "You're out of dark roast?"  "Yeah."  My husband gave me a bit of a sideways glance, and I said "Something like what you'd use for good espresso."  "Oh, um, we can make you a mocha or a cappuccino."  I walked over to the wall, picked up a pound of what he'd gotten the last time and said "We'll take this."  "Okay!!" 

I always figured I'd talk to one of the owners about her, but I never got the chance, and I haven't seen her in a while.  What a shame.
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