999 Bad Service.

Last night at 1.30am, I needed to call the police when a man and a woman were having some sort of drink/drug fuelled fight outside my house. My area isn’t the sort that’s used to this kind of sight – no pubs, clubs, shanty homes or anything nearby. He started punching her and sitting on her in the street, with their car blocking the middle of the road, engine off, no lights. So I thought it was a good time to call the police!

I dial 999 and ask for the police in my area. I get put on hold while my call is transferred to the local exchange. This is not the suck.

The suck is that no matter how many times I told the operator where I was and where this fight was taking place, he just could not “pull it up” on the system.

Operator: “Are you sure that’s the name of the road?”

Me: “Yes, I LIVE here. *House number and street name*”

Op: “Hmmm, no, it’s not coming up. Is it two words?”

Me: “No, one.*Repeats it slowly* Let me spell it for you *spells it out slowly*

Op: “No, still not coming up . . .” *makes no other suggestions and goes quiet*

Me: “I can give you my postcode.”

Op: “No, our system doesn’t work on postcodes.”

Me: *Thinking FFS* “Look, try the adjacent road. The fight is happening at this junction. It’s ****** Avenue

Op: “No . . . that’s not coming up, either.”

Me: “Spells it out really slowly” I wasn’t panicked before, but now I’m rather pissed. I don't mumble and I was very calm while watching this whole thing continue outside.

Op: “Oh, spelt with an “ F!” There it is! Got it. Ok, be there soon. Thanks, bye.”*Click*

Remember that all during this 5 to 10 minute long phone call, the guy is still smacking the girl around. She’s still screaming hysterically and smashing at her car horn. I have no idea what he’s doing to her in that car, but it sounds horrifying.

The guy is in and out of the car at random, screaming he’s “gonna smash her in." This goes on for what was another 5 minutes. But then he sees a police car at the end of the road, jumps in and drives off with no lights top speed in the opposite direction. The girl is in the vehicle with him, still screaming.

It actually takes the coppers another five minutes to reach the junction where this is all happening. And there were three cars! Not one of them spotted anything. And it was yet another 5 minutes until one parked-up copper got out of their snug car and came to speak to me who was freezing their ass off in the porch, waving at them to come over.

No-one took my name, not a statement, nothing. Even now I have no idea what happened and just hope the girl is alright. Had I been 6 foot  and a bloke, would I have been better off going out there and pulling the pair apart?