Please god, when I am with my lovely boyfriend buying condoms, among other things, do not pick them out of our purchases and comment on them at length. I don't really care that twenty years ago it would have made you blush to scan them. I don't really think it's hilarious when you play musical bags because "durr hurr I don't want to freeze them!" Please in the future keep your thoughts on my purchases to yourself, and don't announce them one by one to the whole line. I'm not a prude, but I don't feel like telling the whole line I'm getting laid later, thanks.
Also, while you are scanning things is not the time to go through them for things you like and ask the location/tell me you're going to go get these after your shift/generally shop from other people's groceries. This is why it took us twenty minutes to get to you from being second in line!