I am not the sort of person who goes to Starbucks every day. In fact, when this occurred (last... Thursday morning?), it was the first time in well over two years. I was out of coffee at home and had just enough time before work to stop by and grab a quick cup of caffeinated joy. The conversation with B(itchy cashier girl) is as follows:
Me: Hi! Can I have a small Mint Mocha?
B: We don't have small.
Me: Oh. Um, how about medium?
B: We don't have medium either.
Me: Ok. How about a large then?
B: *sighs loudly and dramatically rolls eyes* Look, we have tall, grande and venti.
Me: ... but those are all words for big! D:
B: Look, dumbass. Tall is small, grande is medium, venti is large. What rock have you been living under?
B: That'll be *insert amount here*
She gives me a large mint mocha. It tasted horrible. I don't know how one messes up mocha + mint, but she managed to do it with flying colors. It was one of those small locations, so she was the only one working. No manager there to bitch to. So I just up and left, and vowed that I was never going here ever again.
Okay- look. I'm sure Starbucks is like superduper popular, but I'm sure I'm not the only person on the planet who doesn't step in there every single day! Back when I lived in MN, I was more into Caribou (they had the delicious Lite Berry Mocha that I could not go longer than a week without consuming). They use small, medium and large. In fact, damn near every coffee shop I've ever been to uses that sizing standard.
Tall : Large height wise
Grande : Spanish for large
Venti : Italian for 20, (probably 20 oz.? Also what I would deem as large)
I am obviously not a regular customer. Don't get mad at me for getting confused by your stupid freaking sizing system that makes absolutely no sense to anyone but employees & regular customers of Starbucks. And certainly don't swear at me after you messed up the order.
I hope you choke.
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