So the nurse practitioner who runs the place is pretty dim. You could tell she was pretty dim when she did the lecture about how to use health services and how to eat healthy at Freshman orientation way back. Basically, imagine a several hour long presentation that could be summed up with: "If you to to mypyramid.gov and look at the pretty pictures, you won't gain the Freshman 15! Also, eat plain lowfat yogurt instead of chips or candy. Low fat = healthy and better for you than anything else! And shop at the Whole Foods down the street. Freshman who live in dorms have enough fridge space and money for that, right?" My school is one of only two in the state that has a nutrition major and attracts a lot of students with it, myself being one of them. You could almost hear the lot of us grumbling every time she talked about "healthy alternatives" and other such crap. FOR HOURS! I'm serious, we were in there for HOURS listening to this. She also went on for a while about how we should only go to health services if we thought we were going to die, more or less, and otherwise we should self-diagnose and then call our parents to buy us cold medicine. Mhm.
But that's not bad service, it's just kind of an omen of things to come.
Now in between this and the following sucky event, I ask her if I can get my birth control pills through the school's health services. I go to a Catholic college, so I wasn't sure if I could. She said that I could so long as I made a statement saying that they were not going to be used as birth control and that I needed them to regulate my cycle-- which is true, so I was happy. She said I just needed to make an appointment so she could go over my prescription history with me before she would write it. Cool.
(By the way, please to not be ragging on my school for being Catholic. I'm not Catholic, their policies do piss me off sometimes, but it's not like I wasn't expecting it. They're uptight but they're a good school.)
So one day in my food science lab I picked up a pot that was on the counter and burned my hand. It was clean, dry, and nowhere near the stoves so I have no idea why it was hot, but either way I burned my hand. The prof says I can go to the health office but I don't want to screw my lab partner so I ask if they have any burn spray. In the kitchen at my old school they had this spray that numbed burns on contact, it was amazing. But they didn't have any, so I just put an ice pack on it and wait for the lab to finish two hours later. With the ice pack on, it doesn't hurt, and it's not a bad burn.
When lab finishes I go to health services and see that the NP happens to be free, so I ask if she can give me something to numb the pain from my burns (which now with no ice pack HURT LIKE A BITCH). She tells me to fill out a patient intake form and then goes to her office. Oookay... So I fill out the form (which really could have waited, considering it was just me indicating what I was there for, which she already knew) and then go in.
She has my health file out and she's thumbing through it. I sit down and wait. She asks me to tell her exactly what happened, so I do, and then she goes back to my file. Hand is screaming at me still. I tell her it hurts and if she could maybe put something on it, or give me something for it? She says she doesn't know if they have anything like that, and that she'll have to look. She continues flipping through my file. I sit there for a while longer.
Then she start asking me questions about my health history. First about what prescriptions I'm on and if I have any allergies, which would be fine except that it's written on my file right under her nose. Singular and Nasonex for seasonal allergies. Ortho Tri Cyclen-Lo for irregular/painful periods. That's it. There's even a check box asking if I have any allergies or conditions that the health office should be aware of, which is checked NO. At some point she comments to no one in particular, "The family's healthy." Then she nods and continues asking me questions that are on the file. The file that, I might add, was filled out by me and signed by my doctor before being mailed to her. I'm not sure how any of it could not be accurate-- written by me and approved by a doctor. Really. Periodically I ask if she can do something about my hand which is still STINGING and every time she kind of blows me off to keep asking questions.
We play this game for FORTY MINUTES. At some point I gave up and decided that since she was so set on talking about everything except my burn, I might as well ask about the OTC prescription. I mentioned that we talked about it before and asked her what kind of check up we needed for her to write the scrip for me. She gave me a funny look and told me she wasn't even allowed to prescribe birth control at all, then went back to my file again.
And then? She puts plain Neosporin on my hand (not the pain killer kind, the normal kind) and puts a band-aid on it for me. Then she sends me on my way.
A friend of mine started a new prescription and consequently spent one night huddled over the toilet and spent the next morning huddled in bed trying to avoid going to the toilet again. That afternoon she finally managed to drag herself down to health services to see the NP, who told her she was busy and made her make an appointment for after the weekend. She asked if she should quit taking the scrip but the NP wouldn't tell her anything. Sooo two days of huddling in bed and three nights with her face in the toilet later, she's feeling better. At some point she had just stopped taking the scrip and started feeling better. The next day is her appointment but by this time she's okay. She goes in anyway to talk about maybe getting a new scrip since the other one made her sick as soon as she started it, but the NP insists she just had a cold and shoos her out of the office because she's apparently fine.
Not the WORST by any means (especially compared to some of the other stories here) but still pretty bad for the head of the health services in a college. I really hope no one really relies on this woman for primary health care.