Hilariously Bad Service

I recently had my tonsils out, and as such my voice is very soft, and I can't eat very many solids. With this in mind, my family went out to eat for lunch yesterday for my grandfather's birthday. I decided to come along, even though I wouldn't be able to eat anything, because he turned 83, and I don't know how many more birthdays we'll have.

So, we all went to the little Tex-Mex restaurant close to his house, because he likes it there. We have a nice time, everyone orders (except me) sings Happy Birthday (except me), and gives cards. At the end my mom asked for the bill and she sees that in addition to the meals everyone ordered, they have added a $3.99 charge. She asks about it, and is informed that, because I didn't order any food, they added the charge to cover the cost of the free items on the table that I ate (chips, salsa, tortillas, etc).

My mother informs them that I didn't eat any of the free items because I am recovering from a tonsillectomy and chips and salsa would kill my throat, and tortillas are too chewy. The waitress looks me up and down (I am overweight) and rolls her eyes. She takes the ticket away and comes back with the manager, who insists that we must pay the extra fee, it is standard for every non-ordering guest, and I can feel free to help myself to the free soft serve on the way out.

Now, my Grandfather is a very loud, and very frugal, person. He started to say something and my mother cut him off and just said, "fine." She paid for everything, and $4 really wasn't so much in the long run (I gave her some cash to cover it), but my Grandfather was pretty pissed off. He insisted that we shouldn't leave a tip (we did, of 17%) and huffed out to the car. So, on the way out the waitress gives me a look and I smile at her brightly, because, honestly, what's the point, and proceed to fill up 16 cones with soft serve, as many as my arms can carry, and croaked out, "thanks, you know how fat girls love ice cream."

I threw them away outside, but the look on her face was priceless. I think we got our $4 worth.