So I call today, because I might like to use that account (and the $20 that's been left in it) and I get transferred twice before I speak with a lovely gal who advises that my account has been closed. I have to call some sort of Reclamation Office tomorrow between 7 and 4 to prove my deservingness of this $20. Or I can stop by the office where I opened my account eight years ago, which is an hour away.
This is why I <3 my credit union.
ETA: My biggest beef, which I somehow neglected to include in this post.. They never sent me any sort of notification that my account was closing. Granted, I'm sure there was something in the paperwork, but I was operating under the impression that since I had left the account dormant for 2 years and came back to it still operational, I'd still be okay.