I haven't been home for a week, so I didn't get a chance to see that you were trying to deliver me a package. Luckily, I got home today, on the 2nd delivery day, so I should have been able to call you to get the delivery address changed to my office before it got returned to sender.
Oh, except you left it sitting on the front stoop of my apartment building. next to the little sticky note with "signature required" checked off on it.
Thanks. It's not like in the middle of a busy street in Brooklyn there are any people walking by throughout the day who might pick up a random package lying on a stoop. Not like there could be anything important inside, like money, or a priceless heirloom or, you know, my front row BNL tickets.
WTF, UPS. W. T. F.