She's Dangerous (wbatpoaginar) wrote in bad_service,
She's Dangerous

Not bad, but highly amusing.

So a week ago, my loving boyfriend Mike comes home from work to discover a rather large package on his front porch. We had ordered my mom a printer/fax/scanner/copier several weeks before that had already arrived, and he described this box to me on the phone as being at least 3x's the size of that package.

Confused, as the only shipment he was waiting on was the wine decanter (for those who are as clueless as I am about such things, think the size of an orange juice carafe with a wider base and narrower neck) we had ordered for his parents from, he dragged the package inside.

Literally dragged.

Once he got it in the house, he curiously opened it. Much to his suprise, there was in fact one wine decanter, and a packing list and shipping charges to reflect such.

In addition to our one decanter, the box also contained 11 additional decanters.

Me standing next to the box. Note that door mat is under the package from dragging it in. Also note that I am 5'8'', 170lbs, and I could easily fit inside that box. Hmm.

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We get a great laugh out of this. I mean, seriously, this box sitting in the middle of the kitchen at my boyfriend's house looks obscene. The first time I saw it myself it tickled me so much I had to walk back outside and call my mom immediately just to describe how absolutely absurd it looked. We tell our friends and coworkers the Great Decanter Debacle, and we sing the 12 days of Christmas - with every day's gift replaced with a decanter. Really, it's been good times for all.

All fun and games aside (and a decanter in a pear tree) I imagine, as someone who works closely with the warehouse staff where I work and has seen the most common shipment errors, that whomever pulled our ticket had no idea what in the blue blazes a decanter was, and therefore pulled the whole case off the shelf assuming that big box was one decanter. My boyfriend and I are honest people, and I especially feel weird about keeping something not due to me during the season of giving, so he calls Amazon.

Helpful Amazon employee Rob doesn't understand why we're dissatisfied. Adorable boyfriend Mike explains he's not dissatisfied at all, but rather Amazon should be the ones that are upset. Helpful Amazon employee Rob tells Mike: "If you are dissatisfied with your order you can print a merchandise return label off of our website and return your merchandise." End conversation.

Mike is pretty sure dear Rob didn't believe we were sitting on a case of decanters, and rather assumed we were the ones confused about what we ordered.


Now, if this were, say, one extra decanter, I'd have no problem just taking it into work with me and having the warehouse send it out with our shipments for the day with Amazon's prepaid label. (Ah, the perks of having a shipping center on site). However, between my boyfriend's Jeep Wrangler, and my Scion xA, and our collective lack of bodybuilder muscles, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the package anywhere but where it sits squarely in the kitchen.

We tried using the website, and we've gotten about the same answer there. Basically to the tune of "you can send us the wrong item back, but we really won't do anything if you don't nor do we care all that much".

Now, I would not fault Amazon one bit for wanting their $300.00+ worth of merchandise that we paid a little over $30.00 for back. I dig that. I just wish we could get Amazon to see it that way. Since it would be all but impossible to ship it ourselves due not only to sheer size and weight , but also the fact that the contents are glass and couldn't take the beating necessary to get the package anywhere, they need to send a call tag to have someone pick it up. Nobody over at Amazon seems to really get this, or be too concerned with it. I mean, seriously folks, if you really don't want your decanters back, that's more than fine with us, but I am not keeping merchandise I did not buy unless you tell me to do so. I understand sometimes it's not worth bringing the merchandise back, I really do and I've made that call myself before, but I absolutely do not want to worry about it being a problem down the road when someone realizes they're almost a case of decanters short.

I admit, with two family members in the hospital, Christmas fast approaching, and inventory just finishing for me, we have not persued this beyond the inital phone call and website contact. We aren't even upset - just highly amused at the whole thing and only slightly annoyed at the huge box we can't do anything with. Taking the decanters out to actually move them somewhere would pretty well ruin the packing materials that ensured their safe arrival in the first place, and repacking them would likely not be easy, nor cheap.

On a completely unrelated note, I never thought I would use the word decanter this many times in one sitting, ever. No matter what happens, the one decanter we give to his parents will forever silently mock us from it's place on their bar.
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