Sabrina (skb1976) wrote in bad_service,
Sabrina
skb1976
bad_service

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You call this customer support???

Mercury Interactive. Should any of you ever need to interface with their "support" personnel, you have my deepest sympathies.

Bit of background: Up until 5/6 weeks ago, I was happily doing my job as an programmer analyst for the internal website division. Then, Information Services decided to move their cheese and I was forced into the QA dept. Okay...whatever.

I have not been able to do a lick of work since. Why? All because of Mercury Interactive. I was initially told I'd be sent to training as I'd never worked with this software before. What happens? You, MI, fucking CANCEL the training due to low participation. Again, what-fucking-ever. That was November. Come December, I'm unable to be sent to training because "it's not in the budget." Fuck you, my company.

Wo, early December, I register for MI's support site. WTF? I can't just search through your knowledge base of articles? Oh, no...I have to be a VALID CUSTOMER! I wait another week to gain access to their site. And what an unfriendly site it is. Nothing is arranged in a manner befitting customer service, and I can't find the info I'm looking for.

So...I submit a "Service Request." I wait another couple of days for a response to my SR, only to finally have an e-mail written in such broken English that I'm guessing as to what is actually being said. The only thing I can decipher is that I'm being asked for information I already supplied in my original SR submission. Yep. You didn't read my e-mail. This is still an ongoing issue 3 weeks later.

Today, I decided to take a hack at one of my new tasks and research how to set up the dashboard for Quality Center. I don't have the license number for this...and how could I? It's accessed via a website managed on a server owned by my company. Because WE HAVE A LICENSE. So, in the hopes of getting someone who might speak English as their first language, I call the toll-free number. I go through several voice prompts before FINALLY being connected to a live person. Oh no...guess what...person with an accent who actually speaks comprehensible English (so well, in fact, that I'd consider it his first language, if it weren't for the very foreign accent), and rattles off something quietly. Um...what? Can't hear you. I turn up the volume on my phone and lo...ask him to kindly repeat himself as I couldn't hear him before. he repeats what he said, but so quickly it sounds like "canihaveyourservicerequestnumberplease?" Huh? Again, I ask him to repeat himself, and he barks at me "Service request number please."

Whoa buddy, calm the fuck down. If you E-Nun-Ci-A-Ted I could understand you the first time. I tell him, "I dont' have a service number." He says "You need to go on the website and get one. Everyone needs one."

ya know...if it didn't take DAYS to get a response to a service order request the first time I submitted one, maybe, just *maybe* I'd have done so in the first place. Oh...and not to even BEGIN to mention that I can't submit a service request because I dont' ahve the fucking license number for the product, and I'm banned from researching any issues with that particular product unless I have one.

Grr...and of course my new mgr is on the phone and unavailable and can't provide me with the ocmpany's license number.

If it were up to me, I'd strongly suggest my company never, ever, ever use any of your products again. I have no idea WHY they are doing so now.

And I'm too pissed to go back and fix my typos. Deal.
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