Me: I'm here to pick up a package.
Him: Where is your slip?
Me: I wasn't given one.
Him: [in childish voice] Then how do you know that you're supposed to have a package?
Me: BECAUSE I TRACKED IT ONLINE. GIVE ME MY PACKAGE.
And the moral of the story is, do not mess with a girl's wedding stuff, she will eat you alive. Also, postal workers suck.
[EDIT] Oh, wonderful. I just went to get my regular mail and there is an attempt-to-deliver notice inside, with today's date on it. Oh really, you tried to deliver a package? That's funny, I've had it in my posession for an hour and it never left the post office before that. No really, lie to me some more.